Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for January, 2008

Toddler Period

The rapid rate of growth in the first year of life slows during the second year.  Correspondingly, your baby’s appetite diminishes as well.  She may express some very strong food preferences and refuse to eat foods she seemed to enjoy as an infant.  She may show lack of interest in eating and dawdle for what seems like hours over her meal.  She wants to feed herself but may be very messy with cup, spoon, and fingers.  If a food is too difficult to chew, she will take it out of her mouth and not eat it.  Cutting her food into easy to eat pieces will help.

Since individual children vary so much in their growth, activity level, and interest in food, the amount of food to feed and how frequently to feed vary too.  In general, your toddler needs about nine hundred to eighteen hundred calories a day in her second year.  The calories should be from a high quality, varied diet.  Milk intake should be monitored by your baby’s doctor.  Some toddlers may not get enough milk, while others get too many of their daily calories from milk.

Offering your child a balanced varied diet, including some high quality protein foods, and avoiding “junk” food is the best approach to feeding.  Never force-feed your toddler.  Even when it seems she is not eating at all, force feeding is not the answer; this approach may lead to the development of some unnecessary feeding problems.  Let her natural appetite be her guide.  If she is only offered good food, then when she does eat, she will eat well.

Each new stage of development offers new feeding challenges to parents.  Remember that by offering your baby very nutritious foods, prepared and portioned in a way that is appropriate for her age, you are doing the very best you can to be healthy.

Making Your Own Baby Food

The first foods you offer your baby should be smooth in texture and thin in consistency.  Initially, solid foods should, therefore, be offered to her in a very liquid form-that is, pureed.  At about seven or eight months, your baby is able to manage soft chunks of food with some substance [such as bits of cheese, flakes of fish, peas and Cheerios], which she can get from the family table.  As a result, pureeing your baby’s food is a temporary task.

What is the difference between commercial and homemade baby food?  The difference really depends on the quality of the foods used to make the baby food, the care given to preserve the vitamin and mineral content, and the amount of salt, sugar, preservatives, and spices that have been added to the food.  In general, homemade baby food is often denser in calories.  That is, it often is thicker and has less water.  Commercial baby food is required by law to list the ingredients contained in each jar.  You will notice that in response to parents’ wishes, commercial baby food now rarely contains added salt, sugar, spices or preservatives.

Homemade baby food may have a higher vitamin and mineral content than commercial baby food if it is made from the very freshest foods and if it is served soon after preparation.  A long shelf life and exposure to light may reduce the vitamin content of commercial baby food.

In the preparation of commercial baby food, care is taken to be certain the food is free of bacteria and other organisms that could make your baby sick.  Homemade baby food is safe; too, if a high standard of cleanliness is used in its preparation.

If you decide to make your own baby food, the following method may be helpful.Preparing Your Own Baby Food with a Blender or Food Processor

1. Use the freshest and best foods available.  Avoid canned foods that are high in salt and additives. Avoid using foods that have added sugar, spices, preservatives, or fat, and don’t add these ingredients yourself.
2. Wash your hands carefully before you handle the food or equipment.
3. Make sure all the cooking utensils, the cutting board, and the blender or food processor is very clean.  You can do this by scrubbing all equipment with hot, soapy water and rinsing it well.
4. Prepare the food for cooking by washing fruits and vegetables well and removing skins, pit, and seeds.  Remove the fat, skin, and bones from meats.
5. Cook the food by steaming or boiling in a very small amount of water in a covered pot.  Cook until tender.
6. Add a cup of the cooked food to the blender or processor and puree with just enough of the cooking liquid to allow the blades to spin.  Add more cooking liquid or water if necessary.
7. Some foods do not need to be cooked.  Fresh peaches, pears, and bananas are examples.  These may be processed by cutting the peeled fruits into chunks and then pureeing.
8. The pureed food may be served right away.  The remainder should be stored carefully for later use.
9. To store the pureed food, place serving size portions in an ice-cube tray, a paper cupcake liner, or a glass dish or on a piece of plastic wrap and freeze.  Two tablespoons is an arbitrary serving size.  Make the servings larger or smaller depending on what your baby eats.
10. To serve stored food, reheat the individual portions.  Microwave ovens can be dangerous since they may create hotspots in the cooked food, which can burn your baby’s mouth.  Be sure to cool the food to a safe temperature before feeding.

Once your baby no longer requires purred food, a baby food grinder is a convenient way to make baby food right at the table.  The grinder should be very clean, and the food used in the grinder should be very fresh, unsalted, and without spices, fat, or skins.  Place the right portion in the grinder, adding water or cooking water as needed to get the right consistency.  You will discover that as your baby grows older, she prefers foods from your table since she wants to eat the same foods she sees you eating.

Whether or not giftedness can be precisely measured in its entirety, parents, psychologists, and educators know that it is an actual phenomenon that exists as part of the individual's personality. There are lists of behavioral characteristics of gifted children available to help parents and educators to understand how to assess giftedness.

As already mentioned, characteristics of gifted children include, but are not limited to, an IQ of more than 132 [above 145 for highly gifted] on the standard intelligence tests. Characteristics of the gifted or highly gifted may also include children with musical or artistic gifts way beyond their chronological age, children who demonstrate an extreme capacity for creative or divergent thinking, or children who are psychological insightful or socially responsible with leadership abilities.

Professor of psychology, Professor Ellen Winner [Gifted Children: Myths and Realities, Basic books, 1996] defines three atypical characteristics of gifted children that go beyond a measurement on an IQ test:

1. Gifted children are precocious and learn more quickly and easily than typical children.

2. Gifted children insist on marching to their own drummer, which includes the ability to learn quickly on their own, and the ability to make up rules as they go along. Very smart children solve problems in novel and idiosyncratic ways.

3. Gifted children have a strong desire for mastery. They are intrinsically motivated to make sense of the domain in which they show precocity which often includes an obsessive and sharp focus on their own interests.

Gifted children are critical thinkers, creative, rapid learners; curious; capable of being highly communicative; extremely perceptive; able to retain information easily; and committed to a task, which they pursue resourcefully and in detail. Gifted children also are highly sensitive. In situations where they feel out of place or misunderstood, gifted children can act in highly anxious or in other emotional ways. Very smart children may have socialization problems and feel awkward because of their intellectual superiority in comparison to their peer group. Gifted children are often treated as strange by other children because they are so smart.

One important and difficult characteristic I have encountered and observed many times over with gifted children and their parents is perfectionism. Parents of extremely smart children are usually extremely smart as well. If they are involved with their children, parents want only the "best" for every child rearing situation. This intensity can create another layer of difficulty or stress for both the parent and child in day to day relations. The sense of urgency and entitlement that everything must be accomplished according to high standards leads me to conclude that most gifted parents tend to be perfectionists who over identify with their children. Very bright parents may have unrealistic expectations for themselves and their children. This is definitely something to watch out for and try to avoid.

By contrast, parents who are mature and sufficiently satisfied with their own lives are better able to help their children develop their own inner talents and identity. Parents who have some insight into themselves and their children focus on realistic problems to promote their child's potential instead of creating or helping to create anxiety, depression, or burnout.

Fine Motor Control Cruising and WalkingAfter he can pull himself up to a stand by holding on a piece of furniture, he will start to “cruise.”  Cruising consists of steps while holding onto the furniture for support.  At first, he will probably face the furniture and shuffle sideways.  As he gains confidence in his balance, he will slide one hand as he walks in a forward direction.  Cruising usually begins in the ninth month, but can begin as early as seven and a half months and as late as twelve and a half months.When your child bravely lets go of the furniture and takes his first solo steps, walking has begun.  This milestone of development is as exciting for you as it is for your child.  Walking with or without assistance usually occurs by a baby’s first birthday, and most babies walk well by fourteen months of age.Your baby will quickly grow more nimble and confident. By eighteen months, he will be able to walk backward.  Between fourteen and twenty-four months, he will learn to walk up stairs, though it may be a couple of months longer until he can confidently walk down the stairs.  Ay eighteen months, he will be able to run stiffly.  In just a few months more, he will not look as precarious as he runs towards you.

As your newborn looks about her world, her own fisted hand randomly passes through her field of vision.  This strange object may interest her, but she has no idea of what it is or how it got there.  By compelling her arm to extend in front of her face when she turns her head to the side, the tonic neck reflex creates plenty of opportunity for her to study her hand.  During the first six weeks, she devotes more and more time to her own fisted hand.

As the grasp reflex fades, she is increasingly able to unclench her fist.  Similarly, her body unwinds from its flexed position.  As the tonic neck reflex disappears, she spends more time looking up rather than looking to the side when she lies on her back.  Hand to mouth activity, which began as a reflex at birth, becomes a more deliberate, conscious act.  She moves her hands over her chest where she can look at them, explore them with her mouth, and finger one with the other.

Until three months of age, she will look at things without touching them and finger objects absently without looking at them.  Then, the two systems for examining the world fuse.  She sees something and turns her head to see what it is.  She sees something interesting and reaches out to learn more about it by touch.

Her first attempts at hand contact consist of broad swipes.  Her entire hand sweeps in a grand gesture as she bats at, and occasionally contacts, an object.  The coordination of her arms begins closest to her body-at the shoulder.  At six to fourteen weeks, sturdy objects suspended within an arm’s length of your baby make good toys.

After this swiping period, you may notice that your baby begins to make slow, labored attempts to reach out and touch an object with one or both hands.  If you watch carefully, you might see her glance back and forth between the object and her hand as she calculates the remaining distance.  Having not yet mastered the correct sequence for grasping, she may close her fist before she reaches the object.  During this time [between fourteen and twenty-three weeks], try to be patient when you hand her a toy.  Give her plenty of time as she laboriously tries to reach out and grasp it.  Practicing this sort of hand-eye coordination is important for her development.

Between four and six and a half months, she will have mastered the ability to smoothly lift her hand and accurately grasp an object.  This is the time to introduce toys that make things happen-toys that help her learn cause and effect [such as squeaky ducks, or spinning bathtub toys].

During the six through eight months, your baby will avidly explore everything in sight with her eyes, hands, and mouth. She will use both hands simultaneously to explore objects; while holding an object in each hand, for instance, she may delight in banging the two together.  Given a small block, she will be able to transfer it from one hand to the other.

At six months, most babies can deliberately, but perhaps awkwardly let go of an object.  By ten months, your baby will be quite adept at uncurling her fingers at will to release an object.  Over and over, she will grasp something and drop it for the sheer pleasure of watching it fall.  For a while she will rely on you to retrieve these objects. 

Between eight and fourteen months, your baby may spend long periods of time examining small objects.  She will learn to prod an object with a single index finger.  Rather than raking at things with her whole hand, she will begin to oppose her thumb and index finger in a “pincer grasp” to pick up a small object.  At first your baby may need to steady her hand against a firm surface as she learns the pincer grasp.  By her first birthday, your child will be an expert at plucking the smallest crumbs from the kitchen floor.

Your doctor will be keeping track of when your baby masters these motor skills.

Have you ever wondered if your child is gifted? Then the advice of child development experts finally registers on your radar screen. Or perhaps you have just been told that your child is gifted as measured on a standardized IQ test. Whether you already suspected this or not, finding out that your child is gifted can give rise for some immediate questions and concerns. What do you do now? Do you have to start looking for special programs or a special school for your little genius? Will your child be labeled as a geek or a nerd and never fit in socially with his or her peers? What impact will this have on your other children, especially if they are not as gifted?

Certain parents are overjoyed at this news. They consider their child to be a new status symbol, an accessory to their own brilliance. Other parents are in denial. They decide that this is un-welcomed information can and should be ignored, or at least taken lightly in relationship to other family issues. And still others recognize that they have been given some enormous responsibility and they want to do the best job of being a parent that is humanly possible. I hope you fall into this category.

Understanding Giftedness

Before anything else, you must try to understand what it means that your kid is gifted. This can be a difficult task for countless reasons, but two stand out:

• 1. There is no agreed upon definition of the qualities of intellect and personality necessary to categorize a child as gifted.
• 2. There are many powerful and confusing myths in our society about gifted children and adults.

Both reasons are huge factors in why it is often difficult to recognize and understand gifted children. Let's look at each reason in a little more detail.

Measuring Giftedness

IQ is often used as a basic measure for giftedness. The most common standardized tests used on an individual basis to measure intelligence are the Stanford-Binet Intelligence test and the Wechsler Scales of Intelligence. IQ scores of between 132 and 145 are considered in the gifted range: the 98^th percentile in a statistical sample.

The Standard-Binet and the Wechsler Scales are used to measure general intellectual abilities. But many practical professionals who work with children think that there be a way to test for multiple intelligences, a more refined and diverse theory of intelligence. They are looking for a definition of giftedness that will apply to all children in all areas of intellectual, musical, scientific, or artistic endeavor. Obviously, musical talent differs from mathematical talent, which differs from abstract reasoning and the ability to express oneself in writing or speaking. Unequivocally, there is no one-size-fits-all definition that can be used to describe the gifted child.

Head Control

The first motor hurdle your infant must clear is to gain control over his relatively large head.  If you imagine trying to lift your head while balancing a huge, unabridged dictionary on top of it, you will have some idea of the challenge facing your baby.  He will spend the first three or four months learning to control his head movements.Gradually, his neck muscles will strengthen and his head will become less wobbly.  In the meantime, you will need to support his head when you pick him up.  By three months he will be able to control his head when gently pulled up to sit, though his head will still bob a little if you hold him in a sitting position.  By four to six months, his head doesn’t fall backward as you sit him up; and once sitting, he can hold his head steady.

Despite the head’s relatively large size, your healthy newborn can raise his head long enough to move it from side to side when lying on his stomach.  Hence, he can avoid suffocation.  Over the next three months he will develop enough strength to lift his head ninety degrees away from a flat surface.  Between two and four months, if his arms are extended in front of his chest, he can raise his head and chest above a surface.

Sitting

As your baby gains strength progressively down his torso to his hips, he will be able to sit.  Around four months of age, he will be able to sit with support for ten to fifteen minutes.  At this point, he will enjoy sitting with his back supported by an infant seat, pillows, or friendly hands.  Stroller rides become much more fun because he is able to sit up and observe the world.  He may even enjoy brief outings in a baby backpack.  During meals, he can sit in a highchair with a pillow or blanket supporting the lower part of his back.

Between five and seven and a half months, if you set him down with his legs spread apart, he will be able to sit alone.  You may still want to put pillows or blanket rolls around him to pad his fall should he topple over.  For a while, he will still need to lean forward on his hands to maintain his sitting posture.  But soon he will be able to balance, freeing his hands to finger interesting objects.  By nine months he will be able to push himself into a sitting position.  His increasing independence will give him hours of delight as he sits and plays with his toys.

Rolling Over

Rolling represents your baby’s first whole-body maneuver and his first means of locomotion.  As the tonic neck reflex fades, his arm no longer automatically extends as he turns his head.  When he has enough control over his head, torso and legs, he can tuck his arm under himself and roll.  His weighty head initiates the rotation.At about three months, babies start to turn by rolling to their sides.  Between four and six months your baby will probably first roll from his stomach to his back.  A month or so later, he will master rolling in both directions.  Never leave a baby of any age unattended on a raised surface, as even young infants can accidentally flip themselves over.

Crawling

During the same time your baby is learning to sit, he may also start to crawl.   The onset of crawling is extremely variable.  Some babies prefer to bounce along on their buttocks from a sitting position.  A few babies seem to decide that they would rather omit crawling and proceed directly to walking.If crawling is to occur, first attempts can begin as early as five months of age.  If yours is a very active baby, he may then travel by half rolling and half pushing himself in the desired direction.  He may start to crawl at seven months.

The average baby begins by creeping in the six or seventh month.  Because a baby’s arms are stronger and better coordinated than his legs, he may drag himself around by pushing with his arms, dragging his legs behind.  His first progress may be in a backward direction.  Later, he will be able to dig in with his toes and knees.  By eight months, he will probably be scooting about on hands and knees in the traditional crawl position.

Once crawling begins, your child will be jubilantly exploring all the things in the house he had to passively view from a distance for so long.  He will be able to entertain himself for longer periods.  The trade off is that you will have to be especially vigilant about his activities.  You must “baby proof’ your house [check for safety hazards] before your baby can navigate on his own.  He may be as curious about the electrical outlets in your house as he is about toys.

Standing

Between three and six months, your baby will bear some weight on his legs when you stand him up.  At first, he will stiffly lock his legs.  A few weeks later, he will bounce by bending and straightening his legs.  Check to see if he can stand with his feet flat; “toe walking” may be a sign that he is bearing his weight on his legs too early.

Your baby may begin pulling himself to a standing position as early as six months or as late as ten months.  Most babies pull to a stand between the eighth and ninth months.  You can help your baby by providing him with stable objects that won’t topple over with his weight.  Surrounding him with pillows will help cushion him if he falls; but keep an eye out to make sure he doesn’t suffocate.

At first, he will be delighted with his upright posture.  Happy gurgles may turn to wails of despair, though, when he discovers that he doesn’t know how to sit back down.  He can help him learn to sit by sliding his hands down the supporting object to lower his buttocks to the floor.By the eleventh month, your child will probably be able to stand well alone.  About this same time, he may get himself to a stand by bending his knees and pushing off from a squatting position.