Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for January, 2008

Using formula means you need bottles, nipples, and other paraphernalia. There’s really little difference between plastic and glass bottles except that glass bottles are more breakable. What size you choose is also a matter of convenience. Some parents find special bottle/bottle liner systems handier. But more often than not, you will have received these in your baby diaper cakes or other baby shower gifts.

Nipples come in many different sizes and shapes. Some are promoted as being “more like mother” because of their shape. What’s really important is not what the nipple looks like in the package, but how it works when your baby is sucking on it. If you find a nipple that meets your baby’s needs, stick with it.

You may wonder if it’s necessary to sterilize your baby’s bottles and nipples. If your water supply is safe and clean, there’s no need to sterilize or boil bottles and nipples. Clean them with hot, soapy water and then rinse and thoroughly dry them. Some mothers put the bottles in the dishwasher.

Mixing and Storing Formula

With the concentrated and powdered formulas, water must be added before use. Except when told otherwise by your doctor, never add more formula than the instructions say. Over-diluting formula on a regular basis leads to malnutrition.

If your water supply is clean and safe, there’s no need to boil the water before adding it to the formula. As a general rule of thumb, if you can drink the water without problems, so can your baby. If you have concerns regarding water quality, check with your local water or health department, or discuss your concerns with your baby’s doctor.

If you just mix one bottle of formula at a time, you can just add cold tap water to the powder, mix it well, and feed your baby. In areas with fluoride in the water, you won’t need to give your baby supplemental fluoride. Avoid using hot tap water- it has a greater tendency to pick up lead from plumbing.

Mixed or open formula can be safely kept refrigerated for twenty four hours. If you are traveling, the most convenient form is powdered. You simply add water and you are ready to feed your baby. You should be extremely cautious, however, if there is any question to water quality- for example, an camping trips or in foreign countries.

Babies generally swallow some air as they are feeding, although breastfed babies tend to swallow less air than bottle fed babies.  To minimize the amount swallowed by a bottle fed baby, try to always keep the nipple full of formula as you feed.  Regardless of the method of feeding, an air bubble will probably accumulate and make your baby feel uncomfortable.  To prevent that distress, you should burp him ay the conclusion of each feeding.  You may also want to burp him at the midpoint of the feeding, to prevent the buildup of too large a bubble. Just make sure you have your baby bib ready!

There are a number of commonly used positions for burping, and no one of them is the “right” one.  You will eventually find the one that is most effective for your baby, although on some occasions you may have to run through the whole repertoire of burping positions until you get results.  These positions generally have in common putting some slight pressure on the baby’s abdomen-by placing him against your shoulder so that he is facing backward; by sitting him up on your lap, resting his midsection on your forearm; or by laying him face down across your lap-and then gently rubbing or patting the middle of his back.  Remember to protect the area beneath his mouth with a cloth because he is quite likely to bring up some milk with the gas bubble; this is usually only a small amount and does not indicate a feeding problem.

Some babies don’t accumulate a large bubble and aren’t made uncomfortable by one, so if your baby doesn’t burp after several minutes of concerted effort, there is no point in exhausting both of you in a marathon burping session.  Simply put him face down in his crib as you would if he had burped; that prone position often brings up the bubble by itself.  Of course, you want to spare your baby any discomfort that might result from an air bubbles, but if your burping efforts aren’t successful, the worse that will happen is that your baby will noisily let you know when the bubble is making him uncomfortable, at which point you can simply pick him up and renew your burping efforts.

The transitional period begins sometime between the fourth and six months. By then your child can show a readiness for solids by being able to indicate when he is hungry and full, to swallow food from a spoon without extruding it from his mouth, and to digest more complex starches, proteins, and fats. You will know when he’s ready for solids when he shows an interest in what you are eating.

Milk [breast milk or an iron fortified formula] is still the most important food in his diet. Since he is beginning to deplete his iron stores, an iron fortified cereal is often the first solid food offered. The cereal can be mixed with breast milk, water, or formula. Start with just a teaspoonful in a very liquid form. During the next months, you might build up to three level tablespoons of cereal a day to supply the seven milligrams of iron your baby needs. Use one grain cereals at first, such as rice, oats, or barley. Later, you can introduce multi-grain cereals.

After cereal, the order of introduction is not important. However, breastfed infants might be offered a high protein food, such as chicken or lamb, because breast milk is somewhat lower in protein than formula. Some parents like to offer vegetables first, hoping to accustom their babies to foods less sweet than organic fruit. Once you begin to give your baby solids, offer him water too because his kidneys must work harder to excrete the by-products of these new foods.

Introduce only one new food a week so you will be able to identify which food, if any, causes a problem for your baby. You might suspect a food allergy if your baby has diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, eczema or a chronic runny nose. The most common offending foods include wheat, soy milk, cow’s milk, eggs, orange juice, tomatoes, peanut butter [and other nut products], chocolate, fish, and beef. If your family has a history of allergy, be sure to tell your baby’s doctor and get some special guidance for feeding your baby.

Foods to avoid in the second six months of life include honey, milks other than breast or formula, and allergenic foods such as tomatoes, orange juice nuts, and chocolate. Avoid adding salt to your baby’s food, he does not need it. Avoid giving him large pieces of meat, hard candy, gourmet nuts (do NOT give your child any nuts) or popcorn, which may choke him. Also avoid nitrate containing foods, such as spinach and turnip or collard greens. These foods have been associated with methemoglobinemia, a very serious condition that interferes with the oxygen carrying ability of the blood.

The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends not giving your baby juice in a bottle since this predisposes.The Modified Adult PeriodThis period begins about the eighth month of life, when your baby is able to eat chunkier foods and a more varied diet. You will find that he will finally be on a more predictable feeding schedule. Most of his food can come from the family table, although you will have to cut it in smaller pieces and perhaps grind his meat.

Cigarettes

Cigarette smoking poses a serious threat to the well being of your developing baby. Mothers that smoke have smaller babies than mothers who do not smoke. Smoking is also associated with a greater incidence of miscarriage, prematurity, stillbirth, and death of the baby soon after birth. According to congressional testimony of members of the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, nearly fourteen thousand prenatal deaths per year are attributable to smoking by pregnant women. Further smoking by mothers has been shown to be associated with impaired intellectual and physical in their children.

Still, if you have always smoked it may be difficult to stop during pregnancy. If you cannot stop entirely, just cutting down is helpful since the harmful effects of smoking are close related. If you are a friend or family member of a pregnant smoker, consider giving them a 'quitting smoking' book gift.

The following tips may help you cut down or quit smoking:

1. Cut down on the number of cigarettes you smoke each day. Try to continue to reduce the number of cigarettes a little more each week.
2. Cut each cigarette in half and smoke only the half with the filter.
3. Choose a brand that is lowest in tar and nicotine.
4. Take fewer puffs on each cigarette you smoke.
5. Use a water filter, which can be purchased at the drugstore.
6. Consider entering a program designed to help you quit. The American Lung Association can help you find one.

If you cut down on your smoking or quit altogether during your pregnancy, try not to resume the habit after having your new baby. Children of smokers have been shown to have a greater susceptibility to respiratory diseases.

Marijuana

Marijuana use has been associated with pulmonary cancer. It has been shown to have negative effects on memory and can cause menstrual irregularities.

Studies in animals have shown that the active ingredient in marijuana crosses the placenta and accumulates in the fetus. Effects on the offspring include intrauterine growth retardation, low birth weight, and changes in secondary sex characteristics. In humans, precipitate labor [which ends with rapid expulsion of the fetus]; prolonged labor, low birth weight, prematurity and a greater risk of fetal distress have been associated with marijuana use.

Cocaine

Cocaine has profound effects on the mother and her fetus. It causes an increase in maternal heart rate,; constriction of the blood vessels of the placenta, allowing less blood to reach the fetus; increased secretion of stress hormones, which cause constriction of uterine blood vessels and increased uterine contractility.

It has been difficult for researchers to isolate the effects of cocaine since so many users take others as well. However, cocaine use is also thought to be related to a high incidence of spontaneous abortion and to placenta abruption. Infants whose mothers use cocaine have a difficult time adjusting to environmental stimuli after birth and may be addicted to the drug.

Alcohol

Heavy drinking during pregnancy [more than five or six drinks daily] puts the baby at risk for fetal alcohol syndrome. Affected babies are born with physical malformations, including microcephaly [abnormally small head], certain heart defects and often subsequent mental retardation.

Even moderate [one or two drinks per day] and social [three or four drinks per day] drinking have been associated with problems. Some research points to a higher miscarriage rate among women who drink moderately. Other studies associate this level of drinking with a more frequent occurrence of birth defects and lower birth weights.

No safe level of alcohol has been established yet. As a result it is probably best to take a cautious approach to alcohol consumption by abstaining or drinking very little and very infrequently. Probably the best way to handle social situations is to choose a non-alcoholic substitute, such as tomato juice, sparkling water, or fruit juice.

Other Medications and Drugs

Pregnancy is a time for prudent use of drugs. Since no drug has been proved safe for the unborn child, and some of the drugs have been proved unsafe, you will want to be cautious about the medications you take. Drugs and medication include any of the over the counter remedies you may buy as well as prescriptions authorized by your doctor. Your doctor can help you to decide when medications are indicated for you during pregnancy.

The challenge of educating a bright child is substantial. Parents understandably turn to schools for help with their children's education. Unfortunately, most schools are not prepared to work with either the observable or latent potential of gifted children. My serious concern is that gifted children have been ignored and neglected by the trends toward equality for all children that are currently prevalent in education. The "No Child Left Behind" Act of 2001 provides no incentive for schools to attend to the growth of students once they attain proficiency. Because educators have not developed programs for the gifted, we are falling behind as a nation in many areas. The United States no longer has the finest scientists, technological wizards, entrepreneurial managers, or artists. I am sure America can do much better.

As an advocate for gifted children, I have spoken with countless principals, directors of admissions, and teachers who are tired of hearing every parent claim that his or her child is gifted. They seem annoyed or bored or indifferent to the problem of gifted children and their families. Their ignorance or indifference makes the problem of raising a gifted child even more difficult and puzzling. I conclude that the majority of educators don't want to deal with the extra problems that are created by gifted children. I can see that very few public schools have made real accommodations for the gifted child. Private schools who work with gifted children can also fall short because they fail to take into account the emotional and social needs of extremely bright children. And unfortunately, both private and public schools ignore the creative aspects of giftedness.

Parents of gifted children are stressed further because they are often isolated from the normal interactions between parents and teachers, which serve to provide direction, insight, and support about how to parent. Angela, a highly gifted mother and stellar financial manager in my parenting group, echoes my feeling about the alienation of the parent of a gifted child. Angela says "Work with the teachers to help them understand your child. Don't complain to other parents that you have special challenges because your child is gifted. Other parents will not appreciate this information and they actually may use it against you and your children by making you feel strange and outcast."

Janice, the law professor, states "The hardest thing about being the parent of a gifted child is relative isolation-their problems and mine seem so different from those of other children and parents. As a consequence it is hard to find understanding and guidance from other parents and even from many professionals. It is also easy to feel as if either my child is abnormal [defective] or I am an abnormal [defective] mother."

Developing Your Gifted Child's Potential

As a parent, your reaction to having a gifted child and your plan of action going forward is the most crucial part of the child's educational, social, and emotional development. The lack of educational support for parents of gifted children, coupled with the general misunderstanding about what it means to be gifted, leaves you out in the cold making decisions about what to do to help your child grow up and flourish. You want your gifted children to be properly educated, in touch with their passions, and able to interact with others comfortably. Without any kind of meaningful support, this parenting task is quite hard to accomplish. You need to be involved, in ways more than just reading from the home book basket.

Indeed, parents of highly gifted children have very complicated reactions to the news that their child is in the 99^th percentile. This tidbit of crucial, objective information can come from different sources. Indeed the information the IQ score provides is objective reactions to it are decidedly not. Most commonly the bombshell is dropped on the mother or father by a caring teacher, a trusted pediatrician, or a relative stranger such as a mental health professional. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychoanalysts often come in contact with gifted children because the gifted tend to be extremely emotional and may be having behavioral problems at school or home.

Even those parents know intuitively that their child is gifted; they have very distinctive reaction patterns when facing their unique situation and challenges head on.

From my experience evaluating hundreds of children, three types of very different parental reaction patterns are common:

1. Parents who are overly enthusiastic-just plain delighted to be told that there is giftedness in the family. This provides them with a new status symbol, another accessory to indicate their brilliance and power

2. The family who is living in denial and chooses to ignore the unwanted information that their child is gifted. For this family, other overriding family issues or values shove the issue of giftedness to the back burner.

3. The most adaptive reaction is the concerned parent who is able to realize that he or she has been given a huge responsibility. Concerned parents want to do the best job of being parents within the limits of their abilities. You already know that I wholeheartedly recommend the third approach.