Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for March, 2008

From the moment of birth, there are already characteristics of both of you and your baby that allow you to begin developing a special relationship. Newborn babies themselves are very effective at getting their parents and other adults to take care of them.

Physical Appearance

Have you ever noticed that most animal babies are considered cute and cuddly? Some scientists believe that this is nature’s way of ensuring that animals [including human beings] care for their young. This is why your baby’s physical appearance alone makes you feel warm and good inside. His large head and rounded features make him look “cuter” and more “babyish.” In fact, the more any baby has these features, the more positively he is seen by adults in general. Studies report that adults look at chubbier babies more and express a greater desire to play with and take care of them. Even parents have been found to be more responsive to their children when they are “cute’ than when they are not. Apparently, new babies endear themselves to their parents and grandparents, in part at least; just by the way they look.

Reflexes

Many of a newborn’s reflexes [unlearned behavior patterns] serve to ensure physical proximity to his mother. During your baby’s first examination, your pediatrician may demonstrate how your baby’s hand forms into a tight grasp around your finger. In the early months, the grasp reflex is so strong that your baby can almost support his own weight. When a newborn is startled by a loud noise or a sudden change in position, his arms flail out to the side and then are quickly brought together, as if he were trying to grab onto his mother. This reflex is called the Moro, or startle reflex. This and other reflexes are believed to be remnants from our evolutionary ancestry.

The Cry

Any parent can tell you that a baby’s crying is a very unsettling sound, one that is not easy to tune out. Although annoying, your baby’s cry should be thought of as her first means of communicating with her.

Crying is a highly adaptive response from an evolutionary viewpoint, probably designed to get the caregiver to tend to the baby’s needs. In fact, four out of five times that a parent interacts with her baby, it is because the baby cried. Crying alerts you to your baby’s needs. Most parents quickly respond by trying to find out what is wrong, checking to see if the baby is cold, wet, or hungry, or if she is just bored. In fact, babies may have different cries for different reasons. Parents can often recognize what their babies’ mean.

Many parents think they can actually identify their newborns by their cries. This may be an actual perception. Psychologists have studied the acoustical features of individual babies’ cries with sophisticated technology-spectrographs that record sound patterns. They have found that babies may be identifiable by unique “cryprints.”

Although all babies cry, wide variations occur in how much time a baby spends crying. Some babies may have “three month colic”; others may cry only when distressed, hungry, angry, or in pain. Fortunately, by three months most babies will dramatically reduce the amount of time they spend crying.

You can help your baby to cry less, it has been found that parents who quickly attend to their babies’ crying by picking them up during the first three months seem to have babies who cry less at nine months. Contrary to old wives tales, you are not “spoiling’ your baby by comforting her and relieving her crying.

What works to soothe a crying baby varies depending on your baby’s age. Once you have determined that your baby is warm, dry, and fed, age old soothing techniques can be employed, and these will change with your child’s developmental changes. Of course, the best way to quiet a young baby is to pick her up. Next comes holding a very young baby so she can look over your shoulder, combining closeness and distraction. Newborns also like to be swaddled in receiving blankets. Rocking, giving something to suck, and providing some sort of auditory stimulation, like music, will help reduce newborns’ crying about half the time. Sometimes, touching your baby or just being nearby can make her stop crying.

Looking Patterns

Although a newborn baby can’t see things very clearly from a distance, he is quite able to see your face when you hold him in your arms. In fact, that’s about all you see. Newborns tend to look at areas of high contrast [like a black object on a white background] and the outside of images [like a hairline on a face]. Thus, a parent’s face is an optimal visual stimulus for a baby.

Cuddliness

When you hold your new baby, you may notice that he naturally molds his body to cuddle with you. This molding ensures maximum body contact between the two of you and makes you feel warm and tingly.

Unfortunately, not all babies like to cuddle as much as their parents would like, but may squirm in their parents’ arms. This may just be their nature-and not a reflection of parenting skills. Developmental tests of infants, such as the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale, measure newborn’s reactions. In one of the tests babies are rated from “very resistant to being held” to “extremely cuddling and clinging.” One study indicated that mothers had difficulty teaching “resistive” newborn babies to cuddle. The more a mother tried to cuddle an unwilling baby, the less the baby cuddled. If your baby does not want to be cuddled all the time, don’t be alarmed or assume you’re doing something wrong. Remember that your baby is an individual, and adjust your desire to cuddle him to his responsiveness to being cuddled.

The majority of new mothers leaving the hospital today breast-feed their babies, at least at the beginning-about 60%. This is especially true for middle-class and professional women, which the majority of older mothers are likely to be. Age does not seem to have any great effect on breast-feeding. It is not commonly known that any woman who has had a baby can breast-feed, and that in other cultures grandmothers breast-feed their daughter’s children. Occasionally a much older mother may find it a problem to produce enough milk, due to hormonal problems, but this is rare. Many hospitals now give great support and encouragement to mothers who want to breast-feed, recognizing that it is the best food for a baby and that there are emotional rewards for the nursing mother.

The American Academy of Pediatrics issued a strongly worded policy in 1997 that suggests women nurse for six to 12 months, because of a strong association between breastfeeding and immunities for babies from a variety of ailments. But some women decide they do not want to breast-feed. There is no reason to feel guilty about this. There are excellent baby formulas available now that are made to match the nutrition of mother’s milk as closely as possible. Bottle-fed babies also thrive. Love is more important than the way you choose to feed, though many mothers choose to express their love through breast-feeding. Breast-feeding is best for a baby because it is a living substance transmitted directly from mother to baby, containing white blood cells, antibodies and other substances that help protect the baby against disease.

We haven’t yet identified all these protective properties. It is composed of exactly the right nutrients for human babies and is produced in exactly the quantities the baby demands. After the birth a mother produces colostrum, a yellowish fluid rich in antibodies, which protects the baby from infection. Colostrum also contains protein, water and minerals in just the right proportion for the baby’s first few days, and a natural laxative, which helps the baby’s bowels start working. When the milk comes in, it is also perfectly balanced for the baby’s needs. The milk changes slightly in composition as the baby grows. Research has shown that milk produced by the mothers of premature babies is different from normal breast milk, and is ideally suited for them. When the baby first goes to the breast and sucks, it takes the watery foremilk stored in ducts behind the areola, the pigmented area around the nipple. The baby’s sucking sends a message to the brain to let down the bulk of the milk, and the hormone oxytocin the same hormone that makes the womb contract in labor and at orgasm- is released, causing the muscles around the glands producing the milk to contract and squeeze the milk through the breast to the nipple. The baby usually takes the bulk of the feeding in the first ten minutes or so at the breast. But enough milk is always produced so the feeding can last much longer than this.

Most hospitals have made-up bottles of formula readily available. This is a great temptation to a mother who is having problems with breast-feeding and who is very tired. If you are certain you want to breast-feed, resist this temptation! It takes some time to establish breast-feeding and there are often some initial problems, but they should resolve themselves shortly. Some babies who get used to the bottle find it is more difficult to take the breast. Babies who have had bottles sometimes reject the breast altogether. Mothers who want to avoid cow’s milk because of eczema and asthma in the family should also resist the temptation to give a bottle.
Are you prepared to feed your baby? Make sure you are set with baby bibs and all other supplies needed!

While your baby is busy growing taller, gaining weight and cutting teeth, he will also be learning how to interact physically with his environment. That is not to say that your baby’s physical development does not begin until after birth. No doubt you were well aware of your infant’s intra-uterine acrobatics.

During the first three months of your baby’s life, however, reflexes govern much of his behavior. As those newborn reflexes fade, they are replaced by more purposeful movements. As he gains strength and coordination in his muscles, your baby is able to explore and manipulate things in his environment. Each day, he moves more competently.

Physical development is divided into two categories: fine motor and gross motor. Fine motor skills require precise coordination of the small muscles. Acquisition of the hand-eye coordination is the focus of fine motor development. Gross motor skills are governed by larger, stronger, less exacting muscles. These skills include holding up the head, sitting, crawling, and walking.

Acquisition of developmental skills occurs in an orderly, predictable sequence. The precise timing of the mastery of any one skill, though, is subject to much normal variation-something to keep in mind when you are tempted to label your baby as “early or “late” in development.

Each baby approaches the world with his own unique style. Resist comparing your child with your friend’s children. When you hear that another child is walking at nine months, don’t despair because your child is still perfecting his crawl. Instead, focus on his special talents. For instance, your baby may be much better than another at picking up and examining small objects. No matter when it occurs, celebrate your child’s every accomplishment with him.

Physical development follows three general patterns:

1. Muscular development progresses from head to toe. In other words, your baby will learn to lift and hold up his head before his torso is strong enough to maintain a sitting posture.
2. The strength and coordination of the limbs begins close to the body and moves outward. Your baby will coordinate his arm movements at the shoulder, then the elbows, then the wrists. Skillful manipulation of the fingers comes last.
3. Motor responses are general at first. Later they become more specific. For example, if you hold a red ball before your baby when he is three months old, he may smile, wave his arms and legs, and finally make an attempt to swipe at the ball with one or both arms. A few months later, he may still swipe at the baby teddy bear, but will quickly, and deliberately grasp it with one hand.

Teething is a developmental milestone for your child but can be a stressful and painful time for your baby and you. Teething is the appearance of the first teeth through the gums; most babies will start teething around six to eight months with their last molars arriving at 20 or 30 months, however teething can begin as early as three months and continue to the child’s second or third birthday. Normally the bottom two incisors or the front teeth will come in, followed by the top four incisors.

Your baby may experience sleep disturbance, crankiness and excessive drooling and your child’s gums may appear tender and swollen. Some babies make it through teething without any pain but others aren’t so lucky and may seem cranky for weeks. Here are some tips to help you through the teething period.

• Rub your child’s gums with a clean wet finder or cold spoon, anything cold will help ease the pain.
• Chilled teething rings are very helpful but make sure that you don’t freeze them; frozen teething rings can cause chapped and sore lips and cheeks. Frozen teething rings can also be too hard and bruise already swollen gums.
• Your baby will probably be drooling more often so make sure to wipe babies face often to avoid a rash or discomfort.
• Give your baby something to chew on, for example carrot or celery sticks or a cold washcloth, as long as it is big enough for them not to choke it will work.They might have even started chewing/sucking on their newborn baby dolls. The possibilities are endless.
  
• There are some over the counter teething gels that can help ease your babies sore gums but don’t rub whiskey on your baby’s gums or place aspirin against the tooth.
• Even though the first set of teeth will fall out, tooth decay can speed up this process and leave gaps before the permanent teeth are ready to come in. This can cause permanent teeth to come in crooked. Once the teeth are in make sure to wipe them with a warm washcloth after feedings, especially if your child is eating solid foods.

It is not recommended to put your baby to bed with a bottle because milk and formula can pool in the babies mouth causing tooth decay. It may be a good idea to get a soft infant sized toothbrush and brush them but do not use toothpaste, only warm water. You can use toothpaste once your child is old enough to spit it out, usually around three years.

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends waiting to use fluoridated toothpaste until your child is 2 to 3 years old, and then using only a pea-sized amount. Keep toothpaste away from small children because an overdose of fluoride can be harmful.

Like walking and talking there is no exact age that every baby begins teething. If your baby is a little late with teething there is no need to worry. However if your baby has not shown signs of teething by one year old consult your doctor to find out what is causing the delay and rule out possibilities. In rare cases, delayed eruption may be the result of rickets, a vitamin D deficiency that has been linked to exclusive breastfeeding.

Although teething can be a stressful and uncomfortable time for your baby, it is possible for you to ease your child’s discomfort or completely eliminate it and make this transitional period easier on you and your child.