Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for April, 2008

Putting the thought of baby gifts and parties out of your mind, you may have thought about what happens when your baby first enters the world.

At first sight, your newborn may not be quite what you had expected. For the first half minute or so, his skin might be bluish grey, and he may appear lifeless. That may be a shock if you are not expecting it, but this is the color of all babies in the uterus. As your baby begins breathing and more oxygen enters his body, his color will turn pinker or ruddier-first the head and body, then the arms and legs, and last the feet and hands.

Your baby will be soaking wet, streaked with blood, and smeared with vernix, a white sticky substance... Some babies have a great deal of vernix all over their bodies, and some have only small amounts, only in the creases and folds. Vernix is almost like a hand cream, in that it protects the baby’s skin while he is floating in amniotic fluid.

His face may be swollen and he might have long fingernails. You may also be surprised by the size of your baby’s genitals. The size and color subside in a few days, when their genitals take on a more normal appearance.

Immediate Care

Even though most babies do not really need it, care-givers routinely suction babies noses and mouths very soon after birth to remove excess amniotic fluid and mucous. In fact, sometimes they begin suctioning when only the baby’s head is out. It is done with a rubber bulb syringe or with a little jar and tube called a mucous trap. The mucous trap is used if the baby’s airway seems to be very congested or if the baby was under stress during labor and breathing problems are anticipated at the time of birth.

Your baby’s umbilical cord will be clamped in two places close to his abdomen. Then the cord will be cut between the two clamps. Sometimes the father cuts the cord. Otherwise, the doctor does it. Even though there is a spurt of blood when the cord is cut, neither you or your baby will feel it at all, since there are no nerves in the umbilical cord. Then your baby will be either be placed on your abdomen or taken to a special warm bed in the corner of the room for examination and other care. If he is placed on your abdomen, you will feel the warm, wet baby on your now soft belly. Many women find this a very pleasant sensation.

Your baby is dried off by rubbing briskly with soft towels to keep him from getting a chill [a major concern of your doctor]. Your baby will be wrapped in a warm blanket or two, and his head will be covered. In fact, it is a very good idea to have a warm little hat to place on the baby’s head as soon as possible after the birth because the baby’s head is such a large part of his body that a lot of heat can be lost through it.

You may enjoy this related article: Multiple Births

I wonder if there is anyone out there who doesn’t dread shopping with children. Who doesn’t look with pity on any fellow mom dejectedly admitting to an afternoon of errands ahead-with toddlers in tow? Even mentioning a grocery store run brings on a shudder and heartfelt condolences. There have been times when I myself borrowed milk from a neighbor rather than face those aisles with my precious little darlings pattering along behind.

Sometimes, it gets so bad, that I think the children have ruined shopping. My mother would suggest an afternoon at the mall, and I’d look at her as if she were some pod grandma from an alien torture mill. No, I most decidedly do not want to go to the mall, Mother, and watch my kids transform into bounding balls of greed, little proto mega consumers that want everything they see. I’m not ‘Mom’ at the mall; I’m ‘Mom mom mom can I have?’.

Now, I understand that commerce is the American way, and ordinarily I do my part for the economy, don’t get me wrong. I like malls as much as any other citizen and enjoy trolling for stuff I want but don’t need. It used to be fun. I even used to like the grocery store-especially when I could score some tasty samples. Oh, and the warehouse super store with the giant everything? I could spend hours, not to mention dollars, there-back in the day.

So what’s a mother to do? I don’t have a clue.

I’m waiting for some age and/or maturity to kick in as my first strategy. Someday my son won’t expect to find baseball cards or lacrosse sticks in the women’s lingerie store, and my daughter won’t want every single candy gift she spies. I don’t hold out much hope that we’ll all agree on a shopping destination anytime soon, but I can foresee the day we’ll manage it better. Groceries, at least, will be attainable, and the neighbors won’t have to lock their refrigerators when they see me coming up their walk.

Another point in favor of just waiting it out: eventually the kids don’t have to go with me. There will come a day when my son whines, "I don’t wanna go!" (but probably in a deeper voice), and I’ll be able to say, "Fine, don’t," and it will all be legal. My daughter will balk at the thought of the hardware store, and I will be able to leave her home. It will all be fun again, I hope. In the meantime, of course, there’s the internet. I do online shopping for everything: groceries, clothes, toys, gourmet cookies, pet meds, and miscellaneous-which everyone knows in a typical American household is the largest category. All I have to do is fire up the hard drive and take off, and it’s a win/win all the way: No kids in tow, no gas guzzled, no globe warmed. And the best part is, I don’t even have to shower! I may miss the leisurely walk and talk through the mall with my mom, but I can make up for it surfing the net, where there are no aisles, no walls, and no worries.

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When I moved into my first apartment I remember feeling so overwhelmed because I was running out to the store to get important things for my new living space at least once a day. All the little things that your parents had that you took for granted like shower curtain liners, pots and pans, toasters, spatulas, whisks, condiments, clothes hamper, etc. I always needed one little thing to finish what I was doing and it was hard. I can only imagine what it will be like trying to buy what I need for a new baby and avoid running to the store for a small but important forgotten item.

I have often thought that while apartment shopping it would have been nice to have a checklist of things needed. It also would have been nice to know what I wouldn’t need as well. I found myself buying things I thought I needed but didn’t, like that orange juicer that I have never used. I am sure that even with preparation, having a baby will sweep me away into the never-ending ocean of "especially for baby" but necessary items. But even still, forward thinking, I have done a little research and prepared a list of things that every expecting Mother needs and a few that you could probably go without when deciding what to buy for your new baby.

So what CAN you live without?

• Baby bathtub - People seem to have trouble with these, either because they are hard to use, hard to store or the baby doesn’t like them. It seems just as easy to take the baby into the bath with you. Hooded baby towels are always good to have for after baths as well.
  
• Car bottle warmer - A good idea, but they don’t tend to warm up quickly enough on quick trips.
• Cradles/Bassinets/Cribs - It could be that the trend toward the family bed is giving people an alternative to cradles and bassinets, but many mothers said they took up too much space and babies were rarely, if ever, happy in them.
• Pillows are NOT RECOMMENDED, babies do not need them, and furthermore pillows are associated with crib death.
• Diaper Genie - most people find these frustrating to operate.
• Changing table - They take up a lot of space and don’t allow for the most versatile storage. Many parents find it just as easy to convert a bureau to a changing table or just change the baby on the floor.

So what CAN’T you live without?

• Car seats - are not items to skimp on. Unless you know the previous owner very well, car seats are not good items to get second-hand. Manufacturers advise that any car seat that has been in any kind of accident, no matter how minor, must be replaced. Car seats are carefully constructed to protect their precious cargo, and any compromise to the structure could limit its effectiveness.
• Stroller - Many infants do well in a sling, but if you’re talking about long walks or shopping, a stroller helps manage all your bundles.
• Carrier/Sling - Keeps baby close while keeping hands free.
• Floor gym/Playpen - Because sometimes you need to go to the bathroom.
• Onsies for summer babies and Jammies for winter babies - It is wise to resist the urge to buy "outfits" at this stage of the game. Babies spit up, drool, and wet themselves a lot so the best thing to have on hand is lots of onsies for summer babies and jammies for winter babies. Newborn infants must have their heads covered outside in all but the warmest summer months (when they should stay out of the sun, entirely) so be sure to have plenty of cozy stretchy hats on hand, too.
• Diapers, Medicine and General Care Items:
• Several packages of diapers in newborn and infant sizes.
• Several giant packages of wipes.
• A stash of small wash cloths - and a plastic dish for water for sponge baths on the changing table.
• Diaper rash creams.
• Infant ibuprofen and acetaminophen - (Tylenol and Motrin)
• Anti-gas drops.
• Nasal aspirator - (babies can’t blow their noses so the aspirator may be necessary to help clear congested nasal passages. There are different kinds out there and the hospital will give you one. They all work differently, so it’s nice to have the variety to experiment with.)
• Rubbing alcohol and cotton balls - to clean the belly button stump (and to help sterilize clippers, tweezers and nasal aspirators.)
• A grooming kit - with soft hair brush, comb, tweezers and infant nail clippers.
• A rectal thermometer - Fancy pacifier thermometers and under-arm patches, in-the-ear thermometers and forehead strips don’t do the job. The most reliable way to take a temperature is rectally. Have your health practitioner show you how to do this on your baby so you are confident that you can take his or her temperature in the middle of the night, if the need arises.
• Hand soap and anti-bacterial wash - (if you prefer it) for the bathroom for folks to wash their hands before touching the newborn. Hand wash in the diaper bag for the road.

Ask your friends what tools they couldn’t do without and plan the amount of space you have to devote to your baby’s gear. For gear the baby might reject, like swings, borrow one before buying one. Collecting hand-me-downs from relatives or friends is a great help. Another source is a baby shower. You will receive baby gifts from friends and relatives for you’re soon to be newborn. After all this is collected, you can sit down and take stock of what you have and don’t have. Make a complete listing of what you need before you go out and shop, otherwise you may go over budget and get things that you really don’t need. If you do forget something its ok it is good to buy what you need when you need it. It’s easier and cheaper than buying everything and then disposing of things that don’t work. The number one thing your baby will need is your love and attention; if it has that everything else is just a detail.

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The first moments after the birth of your baby are wonderful for bonding with your newborn. Newborn infants are very alert during this first hour and are instinctively looking for food. Studies have been done where an infant is placed on Mother’s stomach immediately after birth. They then make their own way to the breast for their first meal.

Although much of the bonding process is instinctive and will happen naturally, it does not always happen immediately. When I was pregnant with my first child, I never felt that close bond I had heard about while I was carrying my daughter. It wasn’t until after she was born, and I got to hold her and kiss her that the bond began to form.

One thing is for sure, once the bond is there, it is impossible to break. The tie between mother and child is perhaps the strongest in existence between two people. So when it is time to separate from your child it can be extremely difficult for both of you.

Probably the first instance of necessary separation of mother and baby occurs when baby is ready to sleep alone. Giving the baby a bottle or pacifier can cause problems with tooth decay - not to mention the issue of milk leaking into the crib or spoiling during the night. If your baby has been used to sleeping next to you, then your smell is a significant factor in their comfort level. Consider using a bonding doll or baby blanket instead of a bottle or pacifier for baby’s first night alone.

Ookie® Dolls make a wonderful bonding toy. Babies love the soft touch of the cotton flannel body and silky satin trim. The knotted hands are easy for baby to grip. Moms like them because they are lightweight and machine washable.

Cuddle the doll between you and your baby for a few nights before making the transition to the crib. This will give the doll the same scent as you and will cause the baby to associate the doll with comfort.

I gave my daughter a plush bunny as my baby's first doll. I started placing the bunny in her crib with her from the very first day. She is now almost 2 years old, and still adores her bunny. The most difficult part is getting it away from her to throw into the washing machine once in awhile!

There will be many more times in life when you will have to separate from your children. I also have a daughter that will be graduating from High School in a few months and moving out on her own. I don’t think this event will be any easier then it was when I placed her in her crib to sleep by herself for the first time when she was a few months old.

More Baby Tips:

• First Babysitters
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After the baby showers, the baby birth, and all the exquisite baby gifts, comes baby health care. The reality of taking care of your newborn strikes quickly and you may be at a loss at how to care for a little one.

It’s often helpful to know your child’s temperature. It is sometimes an indicator of the seriousness if the illness, although this isn’t always true. A normal oral temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. A rectal temperature is one degree higher; an auxiliary [armpit] is one degree lower. "Normal” means average-some people run a slightly higher or lower temperature, and that is “normal” for them. Temperature varies throughout the day; a person’s temperature is usually a little higher in the afternoon and evening.

The most accurate way to take the temperature of a young child is rectally. Any thermometer will do, although one designed for rectal use is shaped a little differently so it will go in more easily. If your child can’t keep a thermometer under her tongue and can’t keep her mouth closed for three minutes, it’s more accurate to use a rectal thermometer.

When you are taking your child’s temperature with a rectal thermometer, it’s easiest if you lay your child on her stomach. Shake down the thermometer to 96 degrees or lower and lubricate it with some petroleum jelly. After separating her buttocks with the thumb and first finger of one hand, gently insert the thermometer to a depth of about one inch. Then pinch closed her buttocks. Hold the thermometer in place for three minutes to be sure you get an accurate reading.

Taking the oral temperature of a young child may be difficult. After shaking down the thermometer, put it under her tongue. She should close her mouth around the thermometer and keep her mouth shut for three minutes. Be sure she hasn’t drank anything cold within fifteen to thirty minutes before you take her temperature [if she has, the reading will be artificially low].

Auxiliary temperatures are not very accurate. The same applies to the strips that are held against a child’s forehead.

The new electronic thermometers are accurate and much easier to use than the older, glass ones. They are quicker and easier to read, and they signal you when they have reached their final reading.

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