Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for April, 2008

After nine months of anticipation, the two of you may feel that you have had ample time to consider the consequences of your pregnancy, perhaps even time enough to read about babies or attend a parenting class. But unless you have actually had hands-on experience with a newborn, your baby’s appearance may surprise you. Since many movies and television programs cast an older baby for the part of a newborn in tender scenes with parents after the delivery, it is no wonder that many first-time parents expect to give birth to a sturdy, smiling three month old baby. If you feel amazed upon first seeing your newborn, think of the astonishment he must feel. Although all his senses had been intact since the twenty-eighth week of gestation, his perceptions were muted while he was in the confines of the uterus. He was able to hear sounds, such as your muffled voices and his mother's heartbeat. Occasionally he could see soft light filtering into his world. He felt his mother’s movements and the gentle pressure of your hands as you caressed the outlines of his body. Throughout the pregnancy the uterus went through many changes. As the fetus grew larger, his movements became restricted as the ability of the uterus to stretch reached its limits. With the onset of labor, increasingly stronger contractions began pushing him outward. His head squeezed through the bony pelvic outlet or was pulled by strong hands through a cesarean incision. His soft body followed. Suddenly, his delicate skin was no longer cushioned by warm fluid. The air felt relatively cooler. Unfamiliar hands and fabrics rubbed against him. Brighter lights and louder voices bombarded his senses. Once separated from you, he had to take over all the life sustaining functions you had controlled for him. He was forced to take his laborious first breath. For him, birth represented a dramatic change. Once in your arms and tight in a baby blanket, he began to feel better, with his head snuggled against your chest, he heard that familiar heartbeat and felt reassured. Your voice also comforted him. As your adoring face moved closer, he scrutinized it.

In the next few days, he began to make the enormous adjustment to his strange new environment. Having survived birth is a testament to the fact that he is not as fragile as he looks.

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Presidential commissions have confirmed the profound effects of television violence on children's aggressive behavior. These reports indicate that violent television programming is related to an increase in children's fighting. If you do not want to have a physically aggressive child, you may consider monitoring your child’s television viewing habits. One way to do this is to count the number of aggressive acts in your child’s Saturday morning cartoons. Then you can decide if you would like her to continue to watch them.

Cartoon watching also seems to have a negative impact on children's activity levels. While they sit and stare at the television set, they appear zombie-like; afterward, these same children act overexcited, running helter-skelter with little direction or content in their play. In all likelihood, a steady diet of superheroes and monsters is harmful. Also, because two and three year olds are unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, the evil warriors and monsters may seem real to them, and the characters in some of these daytime “entertainments’ can come back to haunt toddlers at nighttime. To make matters worse, it is often difficult to tell where the cartoons end and the commercials begin.

However, television can be used for positive ends as well. Good educational programs, like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, can teach your toddler many interesting things. But don't just leave it to the television. You can also give them Sesame Street gifts or puzzles to keep their reality in check. 

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Learn to save your strength as you care for your twins [or any baby] by lifting them as seldom as possible, and when you do lift them, by using the muscles in your legs instead of those in your back. When they can crawl or walk, save steps by letting them come to you for playing and loving as you sit on the floor. Childproof your home very carefully, two inquisitive little people will find more than twice as many things to get into as one.

It’s wise to prepare yourself for strong jealousy of your twins among other children, both older and younger. Twins receive a great deal of admiration and attention from outsiders, they take more of their parent’s time, and they are so often so devoted to each other that they shun other children. On the other hand, many twins wish they were singletons. They tire of always having to contend with a sibling of the same age who receives the same treatment. That is one reason you will continue to treat your twins as individuals. Provide two birthday cakes, two birthday gifts or twins baby gifts. Don’t always dress them alike. Encourage them to have different interests. Don’t use nicknames that marks them as twins [”Pete and Repeat” for example] and try to discourage others from doing so.

Make a point of not worrying about your twins’ development in comparison with other children their age. If they were born prematurely, think of them in terms of their gestational age-their expected birth date-rather than their chronological age. They may be so content with each others company that they aren’t in a hurry to move from one stage to another. Twins often develop their own special language, which only they can speak and understand; discourage this by speaking to one twin at a time and waiting for him or her to answer.

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Before the baby, you were concerned over what to register for as baby gifts. Now you're concerned about when is the best time to wean your baby or toddler? The answer is, there is no real solid answer, and it is really a matter of when you or child is comfortable with weaning. The American Academy of Pediatricians recommends that babies be breastfed a minimum of one year, and the World Health Organization recommends a minimum of two years. This is because research has shown that breast milk is the best source of nutrition for a baby. Studies also show that in cultures where children are allowed to nurse for as long as they want the children usually will wean themselves at about three or four. However babies in the US usually are only nursed for their first year of life. Weaning is a very personal decision and should be done whenever mommy or baby is ready based on your needs and lifestyle.

It is recommended that a mother who is breastfeeding does not abruptly stop. It can be hard on the baby who has grown accustom to breastfeeding and can lead to hormonal changes during the first few months of the child’s birth and bring on depression for the mother. It can also make the mother’s breast very painful as her body still produces milk and it can bring on mastitis, a breast infection. Experts also recommend that weaning be done during a time that is not stressful as this is a big change for mother and baby and a stressful time can make it much more difficult. When you want to stop breastfeeding you should do it little by little over several weeks to ease the transition for mom and baby.

The beginning of weaning for most children begins at about six to eight months when your child is introduced to solid foods. Your child will be getting nutrients from solid foods and may not need as much breast milk as before. Try to start by skipping one nursing session everyday and try to make it a time that is not the baby’s favorite nursing time, usually early morning, naptime and bedtime. Instead of this session give your baby a cup or bottle to drink from with either formula or whole milk or it is sometimes recommended to use a mixture of formula and whole milk and gradually introduce whole milk. Keep doing this for a few days every so often eliminating a nursing session until you are no longer breastfeeding. If your baby does not want to take a bottle from mommy try these tips to get your baby drinking from the bottle.

• Have someone other than mommy give the baby the bottle and have mommy stay in another room as even her voice can distract the baby’s feeding.
• Hold the baby in a different position that is not like he or she is breastfeeding. For example hold them facing you on your lap. Once the baby takes the bottle you can cradle them again.
• Propping a bottle up is dangerous for the baby make sure someone is there holding the bottle at all times, the baby could choke because the bottle milk may come out too fast.
• Whenever you decide the time to wean is right for you just remember to take it slow and listen to your body and your baby.

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No, your cat will not suffocate your infant in the crib. The myth that says it will dates back to the days of witchcraft, when infant mortality was high and standards of hygiene were low. Someone always seemed to remember seeing a cat in the crib of a baby who subsequently died. The unfed animal was probably attracted to the crib by the smell of the milk. A cat, or any other animal, for that matter, is incapable of forming a complete seal around a baby’s mouth and nose, and so could not possibly suffocate him or her. However, it is wise to consider the possible reactions of your dog or cat to a new baby.

If you have no other children and have had your pet for some time, it is probably accustomed to being “the baby,” a valued and well loved member of the household, and may very well be jealous of a rival for your attention. The animal will most likely adjust quickly and learn to love the baby as much as it does you. You can ensure this acceptance by preparing the pet for the baby, much as you have prepared an only child. First, consider obedience training for a dog that will not obey your commands to sit, stay, and be quiet, or that cannot be kept from jumping up on people or furniture. If your dog or cat is not accustomed to children, try to arrange for it to spend some time with a baby occasionally. Speed up the process of your pet becoming acquainted with your baby by bringing home from the hospital something the baby has used (such as a baby blanket or baby's first teddy bear) so the dog or cat will get used to the unfamiliar scent.

Some parents put a cloth diaper or a small blanket in the hospital bassinet with the baby to pick up this odor. And when you get home from the hospital with the baby, try to spend a few minutes alone with the pet to assure it of your love, just as you would an older child. Of course, you don’t want even the most loving dogs or cats in your infant’s crib. If you have not been able to train your dog to stay off beds or other furniture, or if your cat shows an interest in leaping into the crib to investigate the new arrival, block the door of the baby’s room with the gate that you will be using later on to keep your baby from tumbling down the stairs or otherwise getting into dangerous trouble. This will allow you to see into the baby’s room, but will keep the pet out. The possibility that your dog or cat will not adjust to having a baby in the house and have to be banished is remote, but the chances that your baby will be allergic to your pet. May not be.

About one child in five develops allergies to one or another substance. Pollen, food, or dust may be responsible-even the bacteria that survives in your water bed-anything that can be touched, eaten, or breathe, or even the tiny particles of dog or cat hair or skin [called dander] that are suspended in the air of your house. A tendency toward allergies is often inherited, but the specific allergies, do not always take the same form in one family member as in another. For example, you yourself may be sensitive to certain foods or a plant that blooms at a certain season of the tear, but not to animals.

Your child may inherit your tendency to allergies, but react, at least in infancy, only to animals. The symptoms of allergy to animal hair are similar to those of hay fever caused by pollens of trees, grass, and other plants. You may at first confuse them with the symptoms of a cold; itchy, runny eyes and nose, a general stuffiness of the head, an ear infection or perhaps even a little wheezing in breathing. If you suspect that an allergy to your pet is causing your baby’s discomfort, see your doctor. Until something is done, the symptoms will increase and can cause sleeplessness, loss of appetite, inflammation of the eyes, ears, sinuses, throat and bronchial tubes, and perhaps even a full blown asthma attack. Unfortunately, your only solution will be to get the animal out of the house. Allergies do change as people grow older, and at some time in the future your child may outgrow this one and be able to enjoy the benefits of having a dog or cat. Do be aware that pests, such as fleas, and even some illnesses can be transmitted from pets to children. Keep your pet clean and insect free. Wash your hands carefully after handling or cleaning up after your pet. Ask your veterinarian’s advice if your dog or cat is sick, or if there are animal illnesses prevalent to your community.

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