Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Archive for January, 2010

When heading out for an evening without the kids, make sure that your babysitter has a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” while you are out.  Be sure to include emergency information as well as nightly routines and special notes.  The list below is a good guide:

1)  Emergency Information – Include your cell number, a neighbor or close friend’s number and the number for Poison Control (800-222-1222).  Write down specific directions for getting to your house in case the sitter has to call 911.

2)  Escape Route and Emergency Items – Walk your sitter around the house and show him or her all entrances and exits.  Make sure they know where the fire extinguisher, first aid kit and flashlights are located.

3)  Medicine Cabinet – Explain any medication that your children are taking (or allowed to take – such as cough medicine or aspirin).

4)  Food and Drink List – I’m a pretty lenient parent so when I have a sitter there are no food or beverage restrictions.   However, you may not want your child to have caffeine or chocolate before bedtime.  If snacks are allowed, show your sitter where they are and establish a limit.

5)  Your Child’s Routine – The younger your child is, the more they will benefit from sticking to their normal routine.  If your infant always has a bath at 7:30, followed by a bottle and story, lay out the necessary bath items and your baby’s favorite book.  If your toddler goes to bed with his favorite blankie every night, make sure he knows where it is before you leave the house.  It’s amazing how one break from their routine can cause a major meltdown!

6)  Expectations for your Sitter – If you want the house to look as it did when you left, make sure the babysitter knows you expect them to pick up after the kids.  I don’t think this is too much to ask, especially if the kids will be in bed long before you arrive home.  Let your sitter know what time you will be home, and call them if this changes.  If your child wants to call to tell you good night, tell the sitter whether this is allowed.  I allow my babysitters to eat or drink anything they find in the house, but you may want to set out specific snacks.

If you use more than 1 sitter or your expectations change from one evening to the next, you may want to pick up a Babysitter Notepad like the one shown above.  They can be found at most discount stores or online (the item pictured can be purchased at amazon.com).

My husband and I try to sneak a “date night” in at least once a month, and we are lucky enough to have two great babysitting options – our daycare provider’s 14 year old son and 12 year old daughter.  The situation works perfectly for everyone – my kids (ages 3 and 7) have been a part of this daycare family for 5 years, the sitters live close by, and usually their mother is home as a backup in case of emergencies.  Some parents may feel that 12 or 13 is too young for a sitter, but not if you weigh the other variables (experience, maturity level, comfort level with children).  If you are unsure of the proper age for a babysitter, consider the pros and cons of the following age ranges:

Pre-Teen Sitter – Many babysitting courses require their students to be at least 11 years old, and I wouldn’t consider a sitter younger than that.  I would be uncomfortable leaving a 10 year old at home by him or herself, even without being in charge of younger children.  If you are considering an 11 or 12 year old as a sitter, girls are usually more mature at this age than boys.  I wouldn’t leave an infant in the care of an 11 year old unless he or she has a lot of experience with babies (younger siblings or cousins).  I would also hesitate to hire a pre-teen sitter for an older child (9 or 10) because of the small age difference.  The child may see his or her sitter as more of a playmate instead of a responsible caregiver.  I also do not recommend leaving pre-teen sitters with your child(ren) for more than 8 hours or overnight.  When we hire a younger sitter we either feed the kids before we leave or we have an easy meal planned (one that doesn’t require the use of a stove).

13 to 15 Year Old Babysitter -  This may be the perfect age range for babysitters – they cannot drive yet, are not immersed in social activities, and are usually not old enough for a “real” job.  I have found that my boys love to play with Josh (our 14 year old babysitter) because he likes more masculine games like Smash-Em-Up-Trucks and football.  Josh also loves the extra cash and is great with kids – probably because his mom has done daycare his entire life.  Even with Josh’s experience, I’m not sure I would be comfortable leaving him with an infant that requires high maintenance, and I still don’t ask him to cook meals on the stove.

16 to 18 Year Olds – Although this is a great age for sitters, I’ve had a lot of trouble finding an older teenager who is interested or available to watch my children!  They either already have a job, have “plans” for the evening or they are just too cool to babysit.  My close friends do have a 17-year old girl who watches their infant, and it’s great for them because not only does the sitter drive herself to and from their house, they feel comfortable leaving their 9 month old with her for long nights out.  The downside to this is that my friends pay more for this sitter to watch one child than I pay my sitters to watch 2 kids, but it’s a trade-off that they are comfortable with.  I would feel at ease allowing an older teen to use the stove, watch numerous kids at once, even stay overnight if necessary.  I would also allow an older sitter to take my kids to the park or on a play date with other children.

College Age Sitters – I’m not lucky enough to live in a college town, but if you are then this may be a great resource for you!  Every college student I know needs more money, and they can use their down time (after the kids have gone to bed) for studying.  The older your sitter is, the more responsibility you can give them (driving, cooking, etc), but you will also have to pay them more.  If you have a regularly scheduled night where you need a sitter (i.e. bowling night or “girls night out”), this arrangement may work very well because a college-age sitter can pick up the kids from school, help them with their homework, bathe them and put them to bed while you enjoy your time away.

Adult Babysitters – If you are lucky enough to find another mother to trade babysitting duties with, this is a win-win situation for all!  Rather than paying for a sitter you may be able to swap services (just make sure there’s a fair trade).  If you can’t swap sitting you still may be able to find an adult who has time to watch your children, but they may want you to bring the kids to them and they may charge more than a younger sitter.  I’m not lucky enough to live near my parents or in-laws, but many grandparents are providing daycare or babysitting services for their grandchildren – this helps them spend quality time with their grandkids and it gives them something to look forward to if they are retired.  In some situations, parents will not pay for the babysitting but they may perform household chores or buy special gifts for grandparents.

Photo courtesy of www.bgsu.edu

Whether you have recently moved, your old babysitter has retired or you have a new baby, the search for occasional child care can be daunting.  Once you’ve found some good candidates you need to feel comfortable leaving them alone with your children, so it’s a good idea to arrange an interview and possibly even a “trial run” – where you are still in the home but the babysitter is actually in charge of the child(ren).  I have compiled a list of interview questions that are suitable for nearly any age sitter:

• How much experience do you have watching children (as a paid babysitter, older sibling or watching their own kids)? As with any other job, increased pay comes with increased experience so if you have an overall good feeling about your potential sitter, don’t let lack of experience be the deciding factor.  You may find an eager beginner who genuinely loves children but doesn’t have the experience to back it up yet.  Also, new sitters are more likely to be overachievers to impress their new customers – which is a win-win for you and your child(ren).
• Are you certified in CPR/Infant CPR? While it’s not required, you must decide if this is a dealbreaker.
• Why do you want to babysit? If the potential sitter’s only response is “for the money”, I would be cautious.
• Are you comfortable with my childcare situation? For example, “taking care of an infant”, “watching more than 1 child”, “having pets in the home”, etc.
• Do you have a standard rate? Surprisingly enough, many sitters do not have a “going rate”, but prefer to have each parent suggest an hourly wage.  We usually round up to the nearest $5 increment when paying our babysitter, and we’ll tip her if she washes the dishes or does a project with the kids.
• How will you get to my house? Depending on the time of day and distance to your house, the sitter may be able to bike to your home, walk, or even drive him or herself.
• How many and what age children are you comfortable with? This question is especially important if you have more than 1 child or if the child is very young.  Even if the babysitter has a lot of experience they may not have cared for an infant before.
• Do you have any references? Depending on your comfort level with the sitter, you may want to call one or two references before offering them a job.  Ask the references if they were happy with the sitter’s overall performance and if they are still using him/her.

If you get a good feeling from the interview, you may want to ask the potential sitter if they are available for a “trial run” with your kids.  Schedule a time when you have a specific project to do at home (spring cleaning or painting work well) and you want the kids kept busy.  Treat this trial run as an actual babysitting experience, make sure the kids know you are not available during this time and they must go to the sitter if they need anything.  Silently observe the interaction between your child(ren) and the sitter, and make sure to pay him/her for their time.  If you feel comfortable after your trial run then congratulations – you’ve found someone you can trust to be with your kids while you enjoy some grown up time!

When we moved to our new home 5 years ago, the last thought on our mind was finding a new babysitter for our 2 year old son.  But once the dust settled and we had unpacked enough to feel comfortable, my husband and I were yearning for a night out to explore our new town and take a break from the stresses of relocating with a toddler.  Since we had no friends in the area we didn’t know how to even start searching for a babysitter, but luckily our daycare provider pointed us in the right direction.  In case you find yourself in a similar situation, here are a few suggestions when you are searching for a babysitter:

1)  Check with the local schools – whether it’s high school, community college or a university, ask if they have a Community Relations department and see if they have any recommendations for you.  Speak to the Community Education Department of your local school district and see if they offer babysitting classes.  If they do, some departments will keep a list of students who have passed this course and will give out names and numbers.

2)  Ask your neighbors – if you haven’t already, this is a great reason to get to know your neighbors.  They may recommend their babysitter, they may have a child of babysitting age, or they may be willing to babysit themselves!  Maybe you can strike up a deal with your neighbor to trade off babysitting services so you can both enjoy some “adult time” now and then.

3)  Contact your local church – speak to the youth group adviser or religious education leader and ask who they would recommend.

4)  Place an ad in the local paper or on a local website such as Craigslist – although this option may produce numerous results, the responses will be quite varied.  Be sure to screen the applicants carefully and check references before hiring someone.

Once you’ve found a few potential babysitters, the next step will be to interview and even give them a “trial run”.  We’ll discuss this more in my next post.  Until then, happy hunting!

Photo courtesy of lovetojazz.com.