Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

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When you first find out you’re going to be a mother, all sorts of thoughts rush through your head. One thing that will start to concern you is how you’re going to prepare for baby’s arrival. Will you have the right items? What do you even need for a baby? You’ll get plenty of advice from well-meaning family and friends, so don’t worry about the specifics. You know you’ll need a crib and diapers. So, once you get those out of the way, concentrate on stocking up baby’s closet.

Babies do need a number of different clothing items, along with their precious baby blankets!  Since you’re not going to have a whole lot of time, or the desire, to go out shopping after baby comes home from the hospital, get everything ready well before you have your baby.

What are the absolute necessities and what are just for fun? It’s hard to tell if you’ve never had a baby before. Everything looks so cute and cuddly. You have to start somewhere, so go with the basics.

Every baby needs at least the following items:

• Several long sleeved undershirts or onesies that snap at the bottom, newborn sized
• Several short sleeved undershirts or onesies for wearing under layers, newborn sized
• Rompers or one piece cotton outfits for awake times, you’ll need many of these as babies tend to wet themselves, spit up, or soil themselves without warning. Start with newborn sizes but have three-and six-month sizes ready to go to. Of course don't forget the baby bibs!
• Sleeping sacks. These are one piece items made of cotton that have a drawstring bottom. They are ideal for newborns as you can quickly undo the bottom drawstring, change a diaper, and get baby back to sleep with little hassle or disturbance. Buy these in newborn, but also three-and six-month sizes.
• Diapers, diapers, and more diapers. If you are using cloth diapers, you’ll need those waterproof diaper covers to prevent leakage onto clothes. If you’re using disposable, get newborn and small sizes now to have on hand.
• Socks. Baby’s feet can get cold quickly, so stock up on socks. They’re so small that they’re barely there, but you’ll need them just the same. Consider washing them in a lingerie bag when the time comes. Otherwise they’ll disappear in the dryer.
• Cute outfits for when you take baby out to the doctor’s or to Grandma’s. The best outfits are one piece or a pull on pair of pants without zippers or snaps and a onesie type shirt that snaps at the bottom. These will stay on the best and will not rub against baby’s delicate skin. You may be tempted to put baby in cute ornamented outfits with buttons and ruffles, but these can be irritating to newborn skin. If you must, dress baby up for a few minutes, snap a photo and then dress her in cotton play clothes again.
• A coat sack if you have a winter baby. If you are bringing baby home from the hospital in winter, you’ll need a coat that is also a bunting sack. These ingenious outfits have cutouts where the seatbelt of the car seat has to go through. So you can leave baby right in her coat sack and click her in safely into her seat.

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Choosing your baby’s christening or baptism gown can be so much fun. It’s one of those times in your life, like choosing your wedding dress, which you will always remember.

Start off thinking about what you’d like your baby to wear. In days of old, all babies wore the family christening gown, whether they were male or female. Today, you’ll have more choices such as a little tuxedo for a boy or a short set with suspenders all done in white.

If you want to go traditional, you can have your baby wear a white christening gown. These can be purchased new, or you can find them on eBay.com or Etsy.com as well as many other sites. Look for the quality of the item before buying it. Ask for lots of photos. Are there any tears or stains? You’ll want to be sure of how the fabric is holding up because many christening gowns that are vintage are old and lovely but not in any condition for wearing. You can also find good quality vintage christening gowns at flea markets and estate sales. But again, be sure to look the item over for stains, rips and other imperfections. Don’t assume you can get a stain out, as you may not be able to.

Other than buying vintage, you have the option of purchasing new. New christening gowns and attire can be very expensive. Often a grandparent offers to buy the outfit as a gift for the new baby. But if this isn’t the case and they choose to give baptism gifts instead, you may have to budget to get the gown you really have your heart set on. Baby stores usually have a special section for christening gowns. You’ll find that the smaller stores have a limited selection. Some bridal shops also carry christening gowns, but you’ll most likely find that specialty baby stores have the best choices.

When you do go to select your gown, remember that your baby is unique. He may be big for his age or he may be tiny. Don’t go by the size on the label. A zero to six-month-old gown may not fit your two-month-old, depending on the cut and how big she is. It’s one item you’ll want to try on your baby before you leave the store. Or if you order online, make sure there’s a return policy. Then order one in a smaller and one in a bigger size so you can return one.

Gowns for girls usually include an underslip as well as a sheer dress overlay. For boys, you’ll find short sets in satin and a jacket and suspenders or a miniature white tuxedo. Try not to purchase something that will be tight or binding. Go the next size up, since a baby in tight clothes will tend to cry.

You’ll also get a hat of some sort and a set of booties. Or you can use your baby’s own white shoes. Plan on using a diaper cover made of plastic on the day of the christening in case there are any accidents, and don’t dress baby until the moment you are going into the church so the outfit will stay pristine.

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Baptism is an important ritual in many faiths.  While the ceremonies differ, the symbolism is typically the same: baptism is a washing away of sin.  It has traditionally been, and remains, a purification ritual in which water plays a big part, both symbolically and literally.  How did this ritual develop?  How do different cultures celebrate baptism?  And what does it mean today?  Baptism is a beautiful ritual, and when you know its history, it becomes that much more meaningful.

We typically associate baptism with Christian religions, but the roots begin with Judaism.  Mikvah, or ritual immersion, was performed when one needed to be restored to purity.  This happened after being exposed to something deemed by the Torah to be “unclean.”  This could be anything from becoming defiled via contact with a corpse or being with a woman while she was menstruating. Women were to cleanse after menstruation or childbirth.  Until the person was cleansed, he/she was not allowed to attend temple.

The person who needed cleansing brought an offering, such as lambs, doves, or grains, and the priest would ritualistically cleanse the body with water, oils, and perfumes.  Converts to Judaism also underwent the ritual cleansing.  Mikvah is still very important to the Orthodox Jewish community, and often, the baths are elaborately done.

In Islam, there is a ritual called Ghusl, which is a ritual washing required for prayer or certain rituals.  It is done after having sex, menstruation, childbirth, and death by natural causes.  It is also commonly practiced before Friday and Eid prayers, in preparation for haji, or the journey to Mecca, and before converting to Islam. There are rules governing the prayers said during ablution, as well as what types of water are permitted for use.

Both of these rituals have much in common with the Christian idea of baptism.  One key difference, though, is that both mikvah and ghusl are performed on an as-needed basis, so to speak.  They are done repeatedly throughout life to regain purity.  The Christian ritual of baptism is done once in a person’s life.  Instead of purifying the person from a specific “unclean” act, the baptism represents the desire of the baptized to follow the ways of the church and repent from sin. It is not a purification of sin, per se, but a symbolic act.

There are different forms of baptism among Christian religions and different practices concerning the age at which one is baptized.  In the Catholic, Episcopal, and Lutheran Churches, for instance, baptism is performed near birth to wash away “Original Sin,” which it is believed all people are born with.  In many other faiths, baptism is delayed until a child is older, or even till adulthood.  This is because the belief in Original Sin is not universal in Christianity.  Also, many churches believe the person should be old enough to make the conscious choice to become baptized, and thus an official member of the church.

While water plays an important role in baptism, not all ceremonies are the same.  In Catholic ceremonies, for instance, the baby is held over the baptismal font, and water is sprinkled lightly over his head.  This is called aspersion baptism. In other faiths, the person to be baptized kneels and water is poured over his head.  He may also kneel in water.  This is affusion baptism.

Immersion baptism is when the congregant is fully submerged in water.  This is practiced by Anabaptists and Baptists.  In these faiths, people are not baptized until they are adults.  Immersion is often done in baptismal fonts, swimming pools, bathtubs, rivers, or lakes.  Some sects, including Armenian Baptists, and some Catholics, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, and Anglicans, partially immerse the baptized, dunking their heads under water. Other faiths, like the Baptists and Anabaptists, demand full immersion.

Despite the differences in baptismal practices among faiths, there are many more similarities.  Water purifies and removes sin, whether on a symbolic level or a literal level.  Converts to religions typically undergo baptism to indicate their dedication to following the tenants of the faith.  Whether it is done repeatedly, as with mikvah and ghusl, or once, as with Christian faiths, it is an important ceremony. Often times, after the baptism, family and friends congregate at the home of the little one and celebrate with a meal and baptism gifts.

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Whether it's for Grandparent's Day or any other day of the week, just getting to sleep over at grandma and grandpa’s house is a big enough thrill for most kids that any activities fall by the wayside. Everything you may plan out for the night may be trumped by looking through your makeup drawer or sorting your silverware. Kids find everything at their grandparents’ houses new and interesting. So if you have chores to do, involve the kids. They’ll think its fun.

Sorting is always a good idea. If you pull out a batch of laundry and ask your grandchildren to sort the socks, they’ll think it’s the best game ever. Give them a chance to sort some socks while you fold laundry. Then make sock puppets out of any lone socks you find. Add felt embellishments and googly eyes. Hold a puppet show afterwards.

Allow kids to rifle through your drawers. Jewelry drawers are kid magnets. Let both boys and girls look through your jewelry if they seem interested. There’s nothing like a new drawer of goodies to spark the imagination. Show them your charm bracelet, personalized jewelry or high school ring. They’ll remember it and ask to see it again and again. Anything that is special or different will remind them of you from now on. Even those red plastic hoop earrings from the ‘80s will become meaningful to them.

Bake something. Kids love to help out in the kitchen, but when it’s with grandma’s bowls and her chocolate chips it’s so much more fun. Be sure to eat the cookies hot out of the oven with cold milk. These are the memories that your grandchildren will have forever. If there’s a famous recipe in your family, teach it to them and let them help make it. While you have a captive audience, you might as well pass down a tradition or two.

Depending on kids’ ages, they may be happy just pulling out an air mattress and reading books with you. The novelty will go a long way. They may tell their parents they had the time of their lives when all you did was cuddle and read to them.

Let them do one thing they are not allowed to do at home, within reason. If mom says no ice cream in the living room, let them have a small bowl while watching a movie. You’ll be the favoritest grandma and grandpa ever. Just don’t break too many of your daughter or son’s rules or they may not be too happy with you. But within reason, it’s all in good fun.

Is there a holiday coming up? Use it as an excuse to make decorations or to set up the Christmas tree. Kids love seeing what is in grandma and grandpa’s attic and basement, so let them help take out decorations that have been stored and that maybe they have never seen.

You will be a favorite if you actually listen to your grandchildren’s stories. Sitting with a bowl of popcorn and talking is often the only activity you need. Watch a movie that can become “your” movie together. And they’ll ask to watch it every time they come. When they’re older, you can give them their copy and they’ll always remember they watched it at their grandparents’ home.

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From the time you first know you’re pregnant, you’re going to start imagining whether you are having a boy or a girl. You’ll spend plenty of hours dreaming about what baby will look like. There will be several weeks before you’ll have an ultrasound. That first ultrasound usually won’t be able to tell you whether you are having a boy or a girl. The baby is usually too undeveloped. So you may have to wait another couple of weeks until the next ultrasound. During that time, you will want to decide on whether or not you want the ultrasound technician to tell you what you are having.

THE PROS OF KNOWING

There are many advantages to knowing whether you are having a boy or a girl. First, you can plan for a name. You may have to do some convincing and go a few rounds with your husband, but at least you’ll know if you should be looking at boy or girl names. If you do happen to pick a name, more power to you! Then you can start accessorizing with kids room door signs and other fun decor!

Another advantage is you can decorate the nursery. You can go ahead and start planning your theme based on the sex of the baby. If you’ve had your heart set on doing butterflies and roses, then go right ahead if you’re having a girl. If you have dreamed of circus trains and bright bold primary colors, you’ve can move full steam ahead if you are having a boy.

One final advantage is that others will know what to buy you for your baby shower. You’ll get blue things usually for a boy and pink for a girl. It will help them to know what sort of clothes and baby blankets you’ll be able to use. And if any of your friends want to donate baby items or toys, you’ll know whether to accept that Barbie kitchen or pass on it.

THE CONS OF KNOWING

Not everyone wants to know the sex of their baby ahead of time. Believe it or not, some couples still choose to be surprised even in this age of modern technology. There is something endearing about doing things the old fashioned way. It is only fairly recently that couples were even given the option of knowing. A couple may also choose not to find out the sex because they just think it will make the pregnancy more exciting. Not knowing what to expect will keep things lively.

However, not knowing what you’re having means you can’t really go all out with the nursery decor and may have to do everything in yellow just in case. Also, people won’t know what to buy you so you may get an overabundance of yellow, green or purple clothes. These little things are just minor nuisances. There really is no drawback that should prevent you from keeping the sex a secret until the delivery room.

However, if you’re the type of parents who like to have everything planned to a T, the waiting may be too much for you. Keep in mind that if you’re having a healthy pregnancy, you may only get one ultrasound and not be offered another chance to find out. So be sure you discuss with your husband whether or not you want to know. Nine months is a long time to wait if you decide later that you want to know.

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