Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Ah, the age-old question. A little one peers up at you with those big, adorable eyes and asks, “Mom, where do babies come from?” You’re caught off guard. You’ve got nothing ready. You hadn’t expected to have this conversation so soon. You can relax. You’re in good company. Many an unsuspecting mom or dumbfounded dad has been hit with this questions and lived to tell about it.

Think about your child’s age and level of understanding. If you’ve got a four year old, now is not the time to take out medical charts and extensive textbooks. A simple answer will do. To a small child, this question bears no more weight than, “Why is the sky blue?” So don’t feel like you have to give a scientific explanation. Here are some things you could say:

• Babies come from God. They are his special gift to moms and dads.
• Babies come to moms and dads when they love each other very much.
• It’s a mystery. Isn’t it amazing that babies grow in a mommy’s tummy and then one day they’re born?
• A baby is a sibling gift - a play mate, and a best friend.

Chances are these responses will be enough to satisfy your small child. If it’s not enough and your child persists in asking, you can say something like:

• A baby is half mommy and half daddy. See how you have brown eyes? They are just like daddy’s. See how your hair is curly? It’s just like mine.
• Sometimes babies are born into a family and sometimes they are adopted. We are going to have our own little baby who will look like us because she grew in my belly, but the Randalls down the road have adopted a baby. Nice people can choose to bring a baby into their homes if they aren’t going to have one of their own.
• God is the only one who can make a baby. He has special powers and he creates a new human being where there wasn’t one before. He’s awesome, isn’t He?

If you have an older child, gauge just how much information will be right. If you have a fourth grader, it’s probably still not appropriate to get out the charts and diagrams. You can be more direct about your conversation, but don’t list body parts and internal organs. You may puzzle your child and leave them more confused than they were before. For an older child, you can simply say:

“Babies come from mommy and daddy when they love each other. Mommy and daddy loved each other and we made you. Now we want to make another baby to share our love with and grow our family. Won’t it be fun to have a brother or sister?”

There may be additional questions. Try to answer them in a way that makes both you and your child comfortable. Remember, she’s just curious. So treat every question with great care and don’t dismiss her questions as a nuisance or unimportant.

For older children, you can seek out books that are appropriate for their ages. Chances are they will have gotten some of the information from school health classes, but they are looking to you for your version to see if it lines up. Many books will show photos of a baby in the womb that they will think are really cool. Start there.

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There are few things more harrowing than a child suddenly biting another child. If one of those children is yours, it’s even worse. You worry if your child did the biting. And you certainly want your child out of there if he’s the one bitten. Human bites can be dangerous. So if you have a child who has been bitten, get it checked out by a doctor as soon as you can, especially if the skin has been broken.

If your child did the biting, you’re going to have to step in and be a strong parental influence. If it’s a young child, you need to figure out if he is teething. Teething can hurt sometimes so much that the child just wants to bite something to make the pain go away. It’s a natural reaction to the pain. You need to do everything you can to reduce the child’s pain including using teething rings that you can freeze (so they cool the gums) and if a doctor advises you, a pain reducer like Anbesol.

Whether your child is teething or older and bit for no reason, you must have the child apologize at once for the bite. Have him apologize to the child he has hurt. If the child is too young to understand, also have him apologize to the parents of the hurt child. It will make everyone feel like at least you addressed the problem. If it happens at a party, you may want to leave immediately after the apology to show everyone how seriously you have taken the situation. If you stay, you may give the impression that it wasn’t such a big deal and the incident may happen again.

When you return home, you need to speak to your child in a firm voice. Be strong, but don’t yell. It won’t help the child understand what he has done any better if you say it in a loud voice. Resist the urge to lay down a huge punishment without talking about things first. Older children can understand what they have done better than younger children, so determine the punishment by age. If a fight over a beloved baby teddy bear or other toy caused the attack, the toy should be removed for a time to show the child you mean business. You can return the toy to the child when the incident has passed and you feel he understands what he did wrong.

A teething child often can’t control his impulse to bite, so deal with it accordingly. But an older child of the age of reason does have control over his actions. Sit him down and ask him if something is bothering him. It may have been a one-shot deal where he wanted to see if he could get away with biting, or he may have acted rashly over a prized object he wanted.

Many times a bite happens once and then never again. If you notice your child has bitten someone (including you) more than once, it’s time to seek help. Ask your pediatrician what to do and what could be causing the behavior. Sometimes children under stress will act out by biting. A child who continually bites needs help, not a spanking. Don’t treat a violent behavior with more violence. It will only make the situation worse. Instead, seek professional advice.

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When a woman is expecting, she needs a little extra pampering. Here are some ideas on the kinds of new mom gifts that would be just perfect to pamper. You can give these at any time. (But remember, the baby shower is a time to give presents for baby.) Surprise an expectant mom today!

Spa Time

Nothing soothes the soul better than a day at the spa. If you know an expectant mom who’s feeling uncomfortable or is in pain, treat her to a neck massage or a facial. Just be aware that she may not want to be in a salon where a lot of manicure or hair chemicals are being used, as they can be toxic for pregnant women to breathe. If the spa has a back room that they use for massages, she should have no problem there and can enjoy relaxing. If you’re at all unsure if she’ll love and use your gift, give a gift certificate that she can use any time before or after the birth.

Child-Free Time

If the expectant mother has other children, why not offer to watch her children for the afternoon so she can rest, shop, or just have time for herself? This is one gift that will be priceless to her and she won’t turn down. If her children are older, you can offer to pick them up from school and take them to the mall or out to eat to give mom some alone time.

Cozy Time

An expectant mother would love a pair of cozy slippers and a lush bath robe. She can wear them now and take them to the hospital for the birth as well. Other pampering products she can cuddle up with include a soft blanket (the ones with arms are really handy), a beautiful, soft pillow, a new book or just a nice spa gift basket. These are especially good presents if you’ve got a mom who’s on bed rest.

Dinner Time

As soon as the baby comes, there will be a whirlwind of activity. Why not give an expectant mom a few nights off from cooking? You can give her meals you’ve made (or purchased) that can be frozen and used whenever she needs to prepare a quick supper. Vary your choices so she’s not eating the same thing every night for a week. Your thoughtfulness will be much appreciated.

Little Extras

Depending on whether the expectant mother is having her first child or her fifth, you can vary your gift ideas. If she’s a newbie, give her a bunch of magazines on babies and parenting. She’ll love to have the info. If she’s a seasoned mom, give her a few magazines for pure enjoyment on any of her favorite topics.  Offer to do a mom’s grocery shopping for her. If she’s got someone else to handle that, show up with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread every so often. It’s hard when you’ve got a new baby on your hands and run out of staple groceries. Anything you can do to make her life easier will be a blessing to any expectant mother. Even offering to drive her to the doctor appointments towards the end when she’s feeling uncomfortable and can’t get around so easily will be greatly appreciated.

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When a new baby is on the way, you may start to get a bit overwhelmed about what you actually need and what is just a nice addition to your supplies and furniture. If this is your first baby, you may wonder where to turn for this type of advice. If you're just shopping for a baby gift and don't know the difference, well then keep reading! Either way, it's great information to have.

You definitely need a crib for your baby to sleep in. She’ll probably sleep in the crib until she is about two. But when baby comes home from the hospital, she will be a precious little ball of cuteness. That crib is going to seem so big and maybe her room is down the hall from yours. That’s when a bassinet or Moses basket comes in handy.

A bassinet is going to be your best friend during the first few weeks of baby’s new life. She will sleep in it during the night and also during the day. It’s a secure place to put her down when you have to run to get the phone or if you want to change her diaper quickly without running upstairs. The bassinet is designed to go next to your bed while you are sleeping. The reason for it is so that baby can be near you without being in your bed. It’s not advised to put a small baby in bed with you as she can become entangled in covers. It’s safer to have her near you by the side of the bed.

The bassinet will be right near you so when baby cries during the night, you can get to her quickly. Nighttime feedings are easy when you have baby right there. You can even bring bottles into your room at night filled with sterilized water and keep the powder for the formula all measured out in a plastic container. Mix the bottle and you don’t have to run to the kitchen in the middle of the night. And if you are breastfeeding, you’re already there to feed baby when she cries.

The Moses basket is a different story. They sure are cute. These little woven baby baskets have a liner and are designed to hold baby in a comfortable place when she is tiny. The name of the basket is derived from the type of basket Moses from the Bible may have been placed in when he was floated down the river. The problem with the Moses basket is that it rests on the floor. If you have pets or other children, that’s probably not the safest place for a sleeping baby.

There are some good uses for the Moses basket, however. If you want to go out to eat with a friend, bring along the Moses basket and baby can sleep at your feet in it while you eat. But you can also use your stroller for that as today most come with a car seat that sits on top for this very purpose.

Another use of the Moses basket is in the home while no one but you is around. If you’re going to be doing laundry, baby can sleep in the basket by your side. When in doubt about which to buy, however, it's safe to say go with the bassinet.

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There are few things in life as exciting as the birth of a child, and few things that can change a couple’s life as surely and swiftly as that child.  A new bouncing baby boy brings great joy, and great sleep deprivation, to his parents, and they understandably want to share that with friends and family.  Birth announcements are the perfect way to introduce your little man to your loved ones.  Chances are that you have your hands full with your new baby, but taking a little time in between feeding and diapering your bundle of joy will result in beautiful birth announcements.  Here are some tips and wording ideas to make your announcements even more special.

Birth announcements are designed to help you spread the good news.  Actually, in today’s fast-paced world, spreading the news is usually taken care of instantaneously with delivery room pictures snapped with cell phones and shared via email or Facebook.  Proud parents post pictures from the hospital, giving their loved ones a look of the new baby more quickly than has ever been possible. The role of the birth announcement, then, is a little more formal and traditional.  For those without cell phones and Facebook accounts, it provides the anticipated information about the baby.  For others, it provides a real photo that can be hung up, taped to the refrigerator, shared at work, or put into an album.

The announcements are typically sent between two and six weeks after the birth of the baby.  If they contain a photo, they are typically sent sometime within the first two months after the birth.  Sending them out as close to the birth as possible is always a great idea, but it is certainly understandable if you lag behind. You have a good excuse!

It can be helpful to have some elements of your announcements chosen before the baby is born.  You obviously can’t have them printed because you’re missing the most vital information and, of course, the baby.  But you can decide on your wording and templates.  Do you want to go with the traditional postcard style, or will you opt for a modern option like tea birth announcements or birth announcement honey? After your son is born, you can simply insert the photo, then add the relevant information, and print.

Babies tend to bring out the sentimental side of people, particularly the proud new parents.  Wording can range from very simple and concise to poetic or religious to sweet and sappy.  The key is to choose or create wording with which you are comfortable.  If you are very sentimental and verbose, “We announce the birth of our son,” that may be too curt.  If you are more reserved, rhyming couplets may not be ideal.

Here are some samples for all styles:

• It’s a boy!
• After nine months, we are happy to say, It’s a boy, and he’s ready to play!
• Our family rejoices as a new life’s begun, We are richer with the birth of our son.
• Baseball, football, soccer anyone? Look out, Little League, here comes our son!
• Our little boy is as cute as a bug. We can never resist giving just one more hug.
• We joyfully announce the birth of our son.
• We are proud to introduce our son…
• Double the trouble, double the fun,
• We’re proud to welcome our second son!
• Our home has grown by two feet!
• We made a wish and he came true.

No matter what your wording, make sure to include the vital information that your friends and family want.  The wording will only add to the charm of your announcements.

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