Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog

Baby showers are some of the most joy filled occasions. You can have them just about anywhere you like. If you’re getting ready to start planning a baby shower for a friend, consider lots of options before deciding where to host it.

Many baby showers are held at someone’s home. This could be the home of the mother of the guest of honor or her mother in law. Proud Grammas to be often want to host a shower and will offer their houses. That’s one place to start.

If you don’t have the room at your own home, consider having it out at a local coffee house or tea room. A coffeehouse is a great atmosphere because it’s casual and low key and you can often make yourselves comfortable in a small section of the room. You won’t have catered fare, but if you want to have coffee and pastries without having to pay a rental fee or serve an expensive restaurant meal, this may be the place for you. Just be sure to check it out with the coffee house’s manager. You may even find they’ll make you a special dessert or throw in a little something extra for you.

A tea house is ideal if you can find one. They are rare in some areas and plentiful in others. If you are fortunate enough to live near one, set up your date and you practically have the whole party done for you. The atmosphere at a tea house is cozy and the food is bite sized. Depending on the tea house, you can also order more of a family style lunch or bigger sandwiches. They may even have a full menu you can choose from with heartier fare, but most ladies enjoy sipping tea with small cakes and finger sandwiches. Center your baby shower theme around whatever you are having there to work with.

If none of these options work for you, check out a local community center or historical site. Community centers are there for you, the community, to use. Many charge nothing or just a nominal donation fee. Many historical museums have rooms for the public to use. Aquariums and zoos do as well. You can set everything up and then enjoy the museum or aquatic or animal life too.

Many other venues exist that don’t charge a high fee, if anything at all. Having a baby shower at a restaurant during a non-busy time can almost ensure you the place to yourselves. Have it on a Wednesday afternoon or on a Friday at 11:00. If guests can’t take the time off, choose a weekday time right after work when the restaurant will still be less crowded rather than a Saturday or Sunday.

There’s no limit to the ideas you can come up with when you really start thinking. Don’t forget about beach side clambakes or outdoor parks if your climate allows for it. Set up the feast on picnic tables and play Frisbee and bring all the kids. Don't forget the baby shower favors! It can be a fun day that includes everyone.

For other ideas, ask recent moms at the park or playground where their baby showers were held. You may just hear of a place you never knew existed. It’s worth it to ask for word of mouth recommendations. You never know what may turn up.

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In the Bible it says, “And now why tarriest thou?  Arise, and be baptized, and wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord” (Acts 22.16).  Baptism is mentioned again and again in the Bible and symbolizes a washing away of sins.  Early baptisms were held in rivers, and in fact, they still are in many religions.  The terms baptism and christening are used interchangeably, but there are differences between the two ceremonies.

Baptism and christening are both rites of passage and rituals that take place in a variety of faiths.  John the Baptist baptized his followers in the River Jordan; Jesus is the most famous of those baptized.  The ceremony symbolizes the baptism gift of washing away of sins.  A christening, on the other hand, has traditionally been a naming ceremony which welcomes the baby into the church.  Most parents today do not delay naming their baby, so the actual meaning of a christening is changed.  Today, it is not an official naming as much as a welcome to the church.

The differences between a christening and baptism are related to the specific faith.  For Catholics, Lutherans, and Episcopalians, for instance, baptism and christening are one and the same.  The baby is sprinkled with water to wash away original sin and become an official part of the church.  In this case, baptism and christening really are interchangeable terms.  One does not happen without the other.

In religions that baptize and christen when children are newborns or babies, the two ceremonies are intertwined.  In other faiths, baptism and christening are distinct and separate.  According to the beliefs of religions such as Baptist, Evangelical, or Methodist, babies are not baptized.  Why?  Because, in their view, it has no effect or meaning.  A baby cannot consciously choose whether he wants to follow Christ; it is his parents’ decision at that point. These faiths site the Bible, saying there is no mention of infant baptism. John, as we recall, baptized an adult Jesus.  These churches baptize older children and adults because of the ability to make that commitment.

The ceremony of baptism itself is also different.  Typically, the person being baptized is submerged in a river or pond.  Some churches have baptism tanks instead, which are similar to small pools.  At a christening/baptism for a baby, the priest sprinkles water over the baby’s forehead.  This ceremony uses water much more symbolically – and sparingly.

For many faiths, christening and baptism are part of the same ceremony, welcoming the baby into the faith.  For others, baptism must be a conscious decision, undertaken to affirm a commitment to Christ.   While some churches baptize babies, all will baptize people who want to be welcomed into the faith, regardless of age.  Even in the Catholic Church, which baptizes and christens infants, there are adult converts who are baptized.  In other churches, people are considered reborn when they undergo baptism.

After the ceremony or service, many times family and/or friends get together at the home of the baptized baby and share in a meal, open baptism gifts and even receive baptism favors.

Whatever the age, the symbolism of baptism is similar.  It involves the washing away of sins and a commitment to following God and the teachings of the church into which one is baptized.  Today, many people who aren’t particularly religious are continuing the tradition of baptism and choosing godparents in order to help their child grow up with a strong sense of morals and support.

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Ah, the age-old question. A little one peers up at you with those big, adorable eyes and asks, “Mom, where do babies come from?” You’re caught off guard. You’ve got nothing ready. You hadn’t expected to have this conversation so soon. You can relax. You’re in good company. Many an unsuspecting mom or dumbfounded dad has been hit with this questions and lived to tell about it.

Think about your child’s age and level of understanding. If you’ve got a four year old, now is not the time to take out medical charts and extensive textbooks. A simple answer will do. To a small child, this question bears no more weight than, “Why is the sky blue?” So don’t feel like you have to give a scientific explanation. Here are some things you could say:

• Babies come from God. They are his special gift to moms and dads.
• Babies come to moms and dads when they love each other very much.
• It’s a mystery. Isn’t it amazing that babies grow in a mommy’s tummy and then one day they’re born?
• A baby is a sibling gift - a play mate, and a best friend.

Chances are these responses will be enough to satisfy your small child. If it’s not enough and your child persists in asking, you can say something like:

• A baby is half mommy and half daddy. See how you have brown eyes? They are just like daddy’s. See how your hair is curly? It’s just like mine.
• Sometimes babies are born into a family and sometimes they are adopted. We are going to have our own little baby who will look like us because she grew in my belly, but the Randalls down the road have adopted a baby. Nice people can choose to bring a baby into their homes if they aren’t going to have one of their own.
• God is the only one who can make a baby. He has special powers and he creates a new human being where there wasn’t one before. He’s awesome, isn’t He?

If you have an older child, gauge just how much information will be right. If you have a fourth grader, it’s probably still not appropriate to get out the charts and diagrams. You can be more direct about your conversation, but don’t list body parts and internal organs. You may puzzle your child and leave them more confused than they were before. For an older child, you can simply say:

“Babies come from mommy and daddy when they love each other. Mommy and daddy loved each other and we made you. Now we want to make another baby to share our love with and grow our family. Won’t it be fun to have a brother or sister?”

There may be additional questions. Try to answer them in a way that makes both you and your child comfortable. Remember, she’s just curious. So treat every question with great care and don’t dismiss her questions as a nuisance or unimportant.

For older children, you can seek out books that are appropriate for their ages. Chances are they will have gotten some of the information from school health classes, but they are looking to you for your version to see if it lines up. Many books will show photos of a baby in the womb that they will think are really cool. Start there.

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There are few things more harrowing than a child suddenly biting another child. If one of those children is yours, it’s even worse. You worry if your child did the biting. And you certainly want your child out of there if he’s the one bitten. Human bites can be dangerous. So if you have a child who has been bitten, get it checked out by a doctor as soon as you can, especially if the skin has been broken.

If your child did the biting, you’re going to have to step in and be a strong parental influence. If it’s a young child, you need to figure out if he is teething. Teething can hurt sometimes so much that the child just wants to bite something to make the pain go away. It’s a natural reaction to the pain. You need to do everything you can to reduce the child’s pain including using teething rings that you can freeze (so they cool the gums) and if a doctor advises you, a pain reducer like Anbesol.

Whether your child is teething or older and bit for no reason, you must have the child apologize at once for the bite. Have him apologize to the child he has hurt. If the child is too young to understand, also have him apologize to the parents of the hurt child. It will make everyone feel like at least you addressed the problem. If it happens at a party, you may want to leave immediately after the apology to show everyone how seriously you have taken the situation. If you stay, you may give the impression that it wasn’t such a big deal and the incident may happen again.

When you return home, you need to speak to your child in a firm voice. Be strong, but don’t yell. It won’t help the child understand what he has done any better if you say it in a loud voice. Resist the urge to lay down a huge punishment without talking about things first. Older children can understand what they have done better than younger children, so determine the punishment by age. If a fight over a beloved baby teddy bear or other toy caused the attack, the toy should be removed for a time to show the child you mean business. You can return the toy to the child when the incident has passed and you feel he understands what he did wrong.

A teething child often can’t control his impulse to bite, so deal with it accordingly. But an older child of the age of reason does have control over his actions. Sit him down and ask him if something is bothering him. It may have been a one-shot deal where he wanted to see if he could get away with biting, or he may have acted rashly over a prized object he wanted.

Many times a bite happens once and then never again. If you notice your child has bitten someone (including you) more than once, it’s time to seek help. Ask your pediatrician what to do and what could be causing the behavior. Sometimes children under stress will act out by biting. A child who continually bites needs help, not a spanking. Don’t treat a violent behavior with more violence. It will only make the situation worse. Instead, seek professional advice.

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When a woman is expecting, she needs a little extra pampering. Here are some ideas on the kinds of new mom gifts that would be just perfect to pamper. You can give these at any time. (But remember, the baby shower is a time to give presents for baby.) Surprise an expectant mom today!

Spa Time

Nothing soothes the soul better than a day at the spa. If you know an expectant mom who’s feeling uncomfortable or is in pain, treat her to a neck massage or a facial. Just be aware that she may not want to be in a salon where a lot of manicure or hair chemicals are being used, as they can be toxic for pregnant women to breathe. If the spa has a back room that they use for massages, she should have no problem there and can enjoy relaxing. If you’re at all unsure if she’ll love and use your gift, give a gift certificate that she can use any time before or after the birth.

Child-Free Time

If the expectant mother has other children, why not offer to watch her children for the afternoon so she can rest, shop, or just have time for herself? This is one gift that will be priceless to her and she won’t turn down. If her children are older, you can offer to pick them up from school and take them to the mall or out to eat to give mom some alone time.

Cozy Time

An expectant mother would love a pair of cozy slippers and a lush bath robe. She can wear them now and take them to the hospital for the birth as well. Other pampering products she can cuddle up with include a soft blanket (the ones with arms are really handy), a beautiful, soft pillow, a new book or just a nice spa gift basket. These are especially good presents if you’ve got a mom who’s on bed rest.

Dinner Time

As soon as the baby comes, there will be a whirlwind of activity. Why not give an expectant mom a few nights off from cooking? You can give her meals you’ve made (or purchased) that can be frozen and used whenever she needs to prepare a quick supper. Vary your choices so she’s not eating the same thing every night for a week. Your thoughtfulness will be much appreciated.

Little Extras

Depending on whether the expectant mother is having her first child or her fifth, you can vary your gift ideas. If she’s a newbie, give her a bunch of magazines on babies and parenting. She’ll love to have the info. If she’s a seasoned mom, give her a few magazines for pure enjoyment on any of her favorite topics.  Offer to do a mom’s grocery shopping for her. If she’s got someone else to handle that, show up with a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread every so often. It’s hard when you’ve got a new baby on your hands and run out of staple groceries. Anything you can do to make her life easier will be a blessing to any expectant mother. Even offering to drive her to the doctor appointments towards the end when she’s feeling uncomfortable and can’t get around so easily will be greatly appreciated.

Related Links:

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What New Parents Really Want This Christmas: Sleep!